There seem to a lot of possible plot lines being set up in this chapter. I can't work out if this is a good or bad thing; but it is mysterious. Nice character development. Just some glitches I picked up:
- one shouldn't ever have commas before the coordinate conjunction (and but or yet) unless it's ending a comma "pair" e.g. jonny fry, the baker, and his friend
- in the sentence when Simon greets his parents, there is something wrong but I'm not sure what
- when Simon's mother snaps, there's an its which should be a "it's"
- "devoured them in readings" seems like a bit of an odd phrase

Quite an interesting start - it seemed to set the stage for both the plot and the character development. A few glitches I picked up were:
- in the first line, it says "un ungainly pattern" instead of "an ungainly pattern"
- when Alfred asks about breaking the betrothal, there are punctuation marks missing
- I think when Alfred is thinking to himself it should read ruler of Eladon; not rule of Eladon (?)
- Addy's comment starting with "pssh" is lacking punctuation
- After Addy shrugs, there is an its which should be an "it's" and there seems to be a "you're" that doesn't belong

This is an awsome story. Now will you write more on it? I've been waiting and checking for a long time.

I will say that this story is finding a good direction, but you should write on it to continue FINDING your direction. Which you probably already know but the reader doesn't know, yet.

I like the length of your chapters because they're not too long which is a bit annoying for ebooks. I also like how you are slowly bringing the plot into focus as we get to know the main characters better.
Sorry it took me so long to review again!

good chapter. can't wait for the next one!

Hmm, intersting story... Can't wait to see how it turns out!

Hey,

Read the summary and it sounded interesting with a non-average protagonist. However, I would suggest changing your title-this one sounds a bit too...unprofessional.

Some things i picked up:
1)A few typos here and there, nothing too serious and not worth pointing out...

2)“But Simon, you’re almost 21!”-Writw out numbers in a story, otherwise it just sort of sticks out and disrupts the flow.

3)So is Simon knows that nobody can inherit the throne without going through the procedures (I'm referring to the mention of the incident where the guy got struck down by magic because he hadn't gone through the proper procedures) then why is he so disbelieving of his cousin inheriting the throne? This seems like an annoying glitch.

4)bookwormish-I'm pretty sure that's not a word. Don't go inventing words around, ok? :)

5) When Simon starts talking with Addy the jilt comment is funny but some of the rest isn't that funny. No offense, but it sound like those jokes that 7-year olds used to share with each other.

Interesting idea for a plotline and I'm already sort of fond of Simon-when he's not cracking lame jokes. This was a hooking start and I look forward to reading more.

~Dodge

It's a really good start and I'm warming to the main characters already. One or two typos the main one being;

“Pssh,” Addy waived her hand in dismissalnows it will be you.”

but I think I know what you mean there.
Quite a short chapter so I hope you update soon!