Reviews for Shattered, Beaten, and Broken

Reviews For: Shattered, Beaten, and Broken - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

NeonGolden 2008-07-04 ch 14,	abuseI like the plot of this story, very exciting and interesting. I think sometimes the plot moves along a bit too quickly. Your characterisation is good, the people all seem very human and real, I like them a lot (or dislike them in some cases =]). I was confused sometimes though, for example in the very first chapter, after the shooting it switched without much warning to the funeral. I think if you went over this and made it a bit more clear, and added in maybe a few more descriptions and details, it would be really, really good, rather than just really good. Good luck x
Abel Articulate 2008-03-25 ch 1,	abuseI felt that this story moves at a very interesting pace and it suits the story well so far. To me, it kind of reads like a manga or a comic book. I think that if you found a good artist, you could probably write some scripts or something because you have a good eye for the important details. My only concern is that some aspects of the story are left too vague for my taste. But then again, I myself write way too much and it bogs down a lot of my stories, so if you like the way that you come across, stick to it. All in all, I really liked this first chapter and I'll definitely get back to reading the rest of it! Keep up the good work.
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 14,	abuseNice job on the part about how one can sacrifice oneself, but it is worth it if it saves others. Noble.
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 13,	abuseThe child was a really good twist. I suppose you like the nurture theory above the nature one.
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 12,	abuseWhat a martyr. Again, nice charie development.
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 11,	abuseI like the showing of Felice's true colors and the Romano/Michael intrigue.
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 10,	abuseVery cute. Nice love-triangle set-up.
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 9,	abuseI like Thomas. You developed her hate/charie a bit- Nice Job
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 8,	abuseI liked how their leerings boosted her confidence. Nice intrigue with Michael.
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 7,	abuseGood. And whether you intended to or not, you had a good amount of detail. It seemed like this was an important chapter to you..
Hoodwynk 2008-01-06 ch 6,	abuseNice about her lack of self-confidence now. And you are right. People are cruel sometimes.
Hoodwynk 2007-12-31 ch 5,	abuseNice chapter, but one question. Do you notice that no matter the ethnicity, background, or personality of the character, they all talk the same? There are no accents, regional dialect, or differences in the level of eloquence/vocabulary. Ex. lou/bathroom, here/ 'ere, et cetera. Just a consideration. It doesn't effect the plot...
Hoodwynk 2007-12-31 ch 4,	abuseThe detour was really good. A lot of time, criminals don't believe that they are doing anything wrong or are justified in their actions. No criticisms.
Hoodwynk 2007-12-31 ch 3,	abuseShe recovered her ability and desire to flirt a little bit too quickly, but unless a writer is into the whole 'developing the emotions of a traumatized victem' theme, that can be boring to write. AH! I realize that the whole Michael/Brianne thing is very nice to read and write, but would her mother be so obselite? She really didn't interact with her precious, only kin left, daughter after six years of separation. All in all, I did like it. Michael and Brianne make a nice would-be couple.
Hoodwynk 2007-12-31 ch 2,	abuseI like how you said that she was just 'numb'. In Night (Holocause memoir) the charie describes how he couldn't even feel angry- just blank, dead, numb. Their treatments come very much to the same thing. In reaction to their emancipation, I liked how you didn't just have her flip right back to normal as if nothing had happened. Nice.

Return to Top