The child was a really good twist. I suppose you like the nurture theory above the nature one.

What a martyr. Again, nice charie development.

I like the showing of Felice's true colors and the Romano/Michael intrigue.

Very cute. Nice love-triangle set-up.

I like Thomas. You developed her hate/charie a bit- Nice Job

I liked how their leerings boosted her confidence. Nice intrigue with Michael.

Good. And whether you intended to or not, you had a good amount of detail. It seemed like this was an important chapter to you..

Nice about her lack of self-confidence now. And you are right. People are cruel sometimes.

Nice chapter, but one question. Do you notice that no matter the ethnicity, background, or personality of the character, they all talk the same? There are no accents, regional dialect, or differences in the level of eloquence/vocabulary. Ex. lou/bathroom, here/ 'ere, et cetera. Just a consideration. It doesn't effect the plot...

The detour was really good. A lot of time, criminals don't believe that they are doing anything wrong or are justified in their actions. No criticisms.

She recovered her ability and desire to flirt a little bit too quickly, but unless a writer is into the whole 'developing the emotions of a traumatized victem' theme, that can be boring to write. AH! I realize that the whole Michael/Brianne thing is very nice to read and write, but would her mother be so obselite? She really didn't interact with her precious, only kin left, daughter after six years of separation. All in all, I did like it. Michael and Brianne make a nice would-be couple.

I like how you said that she was just 'numb'. In Night (Holocause memoir) the charie describes how he couldn't even feel angry- just blank, dead, numb. Their treatments come very much to the same thing. In reaction to their emancipation, I liked how you didn't just have her flip right back to normal as if nothing had happened. Nice.

I know that you hate details, but I think that you missed out on a few essentials. How did Brianne's captors escape with her? How did they hide her? Are they being tracked? Did anyone see her kidnap? Meaning, what are the chances/probable methods of her rescue? And the last part- 'penetration'- ew, though realistic. Nice change in story plot.

I absolutly love this story! The action was awsome and the whole thing just made me giddy to read more. Great plot...and I think I saw a movie like this once? lol anyway its awsome!

it's good so far :)