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| lovemyemoboy 2008-01-12 ch 1,  | abusethat was beautiful, there's no other way to put it. i love these lines: hoping for a different tomorrow; (dreaming of a happier yesterday...) i can totally relate. |
| simpleplan13 2007-10-24 ch 1, | abuseI like this a lot.. the nature and rain imagery was awesome and the whole piece was great.. I love the parts in parenthesis... especially the ones after what if and if only... the ending is great too |
| Ramenluver 2007-09-09 ch 1, | abuseWow...just...a very interesting piece. *faving* -Ramen |
| Chidori Nadare 2007-08-14 ch 1, | abuseIt's the same topic people write, but you turned it into something that is your own. I like the thoughts in parentheses. I love these lines: "...and alone, hoping for a different tomorrow; (dreaming of a happier yesterday...)" "and together, playing the game of blame (but no, my fault, not yours)" - *adds to faves* Very good job! -C.N |
| Charity F 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseI really love you style. |
| Ariel of Wonderland 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseThis was beautiful, my child. (Sorry, force of habit.) I love the language you used, and the content and the parentheses were perfect. "her words echo like a lamenting song, as you turn to embrace the pain (believing in heartbreak)" I absolutely loved that stanza. This was definitely a favorite. Take care, darling. |
| The Postscript 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseExquisite. I really love how you take a universal idea and personalize it. Shape it into your own. Poetry is like ball of clay. Life gives you the initiation, and the poet molds that and creates something new from it, whatever it may be. This reminds me of a song very dear to me by Evan and Jaron called The Distance. It's really a beautiful song all-around, but especially "The sky has lost its color/The sun has turned to grey/At least that's how it feels to me/Whenever you're away" and later "I can't take the distance/I can't take the miles/I can't take the time until the next time I see you smile." Beautiful write. Never stop writing, k. |
| heresyisforlosers 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseLoved this. My favorite lines were: "and alone, hoping for a different tomorrow; (dreaming of a happier yesterday)" Went through something similar recently.. Really enjoyed this- sunny |
| Stella Grimshaw. 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abusehoping for a different tomorrow; (dreaming of a happier yesterday...) I loved those lines. |
| effervescent-sentiments 2007-08-10 ch 1, | abuseVery cool. I like the idea of the parenthesis. However, somehow the picture you tried to paint didn't touch me. . . I was left with a jumble of awkward words. That could be improved. Neat concept, good try. |
| Pein 2007-08-10 ch 1, anon. | abuseaw.. the poem was lovely I like the parenthesis thoughts. Nice job JenJen! |
| Ritsu 2007-08-10 ch 1, anon. | abuseOh wow. I can feel the sadness coming from this. ;_; |
| icestorm32 2007-08-10 ch 1, anon. | abuseWell its been a while since ive been here. Your poetry never ceases to amaze me.. the emotion that is put into your pieces leaks out into the readers imagination and allows them to feel just a slice of the feelings put into the piece.. This particular poem reminds me of alot to do with me and you actually.. an ever present reminder of times long gone that cant be grasped again.. forever asking "what if it had been different?". :) Love it. |
| Drewfiend 2007-08-10 ch 1, | abuseI like it! (and I can relate.) Good job! |