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| whispered something profoun... 2007-08-21 ch 1,  | abusegorgeous. in this one i don;t particularly like the last line because it seems too silly. maybe "come out come out wherever you are"? but everything before it is phenomenal. |
| Faithless Juliet 2007-08-12 ch 1, | abuseMy favorite stanza in this piece was the second one, particularly the last verse about fitting into the crevices of imperfections. Wonderful work with this, you really capture the often times child-like yearning for someone who'll complete us as people. Again, great job, I really, really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work. Much love, Juliet. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseOh, man, when was the last time I heard "olly olly oxen free"? Holy **. It's been awhile. And to incorporate that into a poem? Brilliant. I love the idea of looking behind piano keys for someone, too. There's so much symbolism in that image. Great. So nicely done, and I can't help but think of Imogen Heap every time I see "Hide and Seek" now. Hee. Keep writing! :) |
| TeaWithOnions 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseIts so weird, I feel exactly the same way. I really love the second stanza and the line about the piano keys. Another awesome piece! Great job! |
| SirScott 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseI liked this poem. I think its just a game. Life is sort of a big game. ~SirScott |
| tearing hands 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseThe ending is so perfect. |
| the Stranger in the moonlig... 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseThis was really good. Nice idea well written. ~the Stranger in the moonlight~ |
| Stella Grimshaw. 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseI loved it of course, it was just somewhat awkward having 4 line stanzas then jumping to 7 and 2. Still amazing and the last lines were amazing. I love your work. |
| Her Wishing Well 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseWow, i loved this and i loved the ending and the spin on the game hide and seek. Great work. |
| ShadowsCrush 2007-08-11 ch 1, | abuseExcellently written! One question, does anyone say olly olly oxen free anymore? Is that even part of hide and seek? Random question, just throwing that one out there. >.< I'm not sure if whispering is the correct way to end it. It seems as though there's a feeling of desperation and anxiety, so ya, I don't know if whispering keeps that feeling going. |