Aaw...well we knew he would die from the beginning anyway...it was pretty cool btw.

OMG! WHY? WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO END IT SO MISERABLY?

lol I was wondering why this story felt like it was going so fast, then you said it was all of the 10th book. can you PLEASE like, have kiran forgive angelo? or randomly bend the rules of fate and make constantine his vampire, or something? (idk.) or have his mother come out of nowhere and say that angelo was born at 12:01 and he isn't kiran's vampire? PLZ?

sigh... you can't. you won't. you stink. they're too adorable! or can you like make a totally deux ex machina'd ending just for me where they both live and have a fairy tale ending? (well... fairy tales are usually straight. so a gay fairy tale ending. XD)

ah, well, it's amazing. when these books are published I'm going to get the 10th one. and the 8th and 9th, I do believe you said that they were angelo/kiran/stupid constantine's books?

oh, and I'm from , as you might have guessed, and I have to say it's interesting to see how you worked your characters into the HP world (or did you do it in reverse? which came first, bg secrets or this?) aaron with oliver was interesting to see. :D

I would love to read the whole story.

Your concept is good, but there are many open questions.
I was realy wondering, why this other Vampire looks like him, it seemed out of place.
Why is Kiran hated by his family, and why is he trying to kill Angelo in the end? I see that he feels betrayed, but the reaction seems to extrem for me as it is not developed in the story.
And why did the angels cry when Angelo was born?

I blame these things to the short form of your story, when you realy make this into a book I can see all the questions aswered.

I realy enjoyed reading so please keep writing :)

This is a very interesting start. I was particularly drawn in by the quality of prose. There were minor grammar/spelling mistakes that, while midly annoying, didn't detract from the story.

The flow was good, and I found myself enjoying the mixture of dialogue/description that you put in there. It was rather long, as first chapters go, but it moved fast and the transition from one scene to the next was well done.

I'm looking forward to the next installment! Advice, though... you might want to shorten the length of the chapters because it might discourage readers from trying it out. Other than that, good work and keep writing.

-Bleep

Interesting concept - I'm eager to see where this will go.

Besides a few minor typos, lovely job. Keep it up.

Cheers!
Sammy