That is absolutely fantastic. I admire a person who will question like that, but still ask for what's needed. Thank you for not flinching at the religion issue and going straight in at the deep end!

Keep it up

Janna X

*waves* Ah, I haven't reviewed something of yours for a while, I feel indebted to do so now. This is also my 60th signed review! *fanfare*

What an interesting poem this is. You strike the balance of pleading/storytelling perfectly, so you still get a sense of your despair without this spiralling into a wooden list of pleas. Your choice of words is interesting, and it's original how you vary the line length and metre. The religious theme is also not too overdone, you don't get the whole load of "christ is my saviour, I am only saved by him!" in your poem that you do with most of the other religious-themed poems on FP. I especially liked your third stanza, that really struck me as moving. Sounds like song lyrics, no?

some approximate rhymes that are slightly off- freedom/wisdom, God/facade.

Just remembered that you seemed to like my school essay. If you did, I have a series of rants up which I think you might be able to relate to. It's currently three chapters long and still growing.

--Sakura

Beautiful. To me, it's talking about maybe making a mistake and asking God for his forgiveness. I have been in this situation so many times. Great job!

-Sapphire