|Reviews for DreamBoy|
| sourgummyworms2007 3/7/08 . chapter 2
(Andy was not aloud to move from) that should be allowed.
(He had sneaked it out of) that should snuck. I'm not sure, but i don't think sneaked is a word.
neway i'm liking so far. and u don't really need a beta that bad so far, but i've only gotten this far. i like this story though.
| Emily 2/24/08 . chapter 1
Hello Hana, You sure have a vivid imagination. I am not sure I would put in about all the blood and things, but very descriptive. You should be a professional writer one day. Thanks for sharing your book!
| Rimma 10/16/07 . chapter 2
Right on. This first chapter reads like what it's telling. Does that make sense? What I mean is, it's going smoothly and steadily and then all of the sudden, BAM. It's like pushing someone in front of a car, if you catch my drift. I don't know if that was intentional, but it works very well.
Some things to consider: aloud- out loud; allowed- permissible. Sensation is a synonym of feeling. I'd go through and double check spelling; a few words are missing their D's and S's on the ends.
| Rimma 10/16/07 . chapter 1
Heads up: the last sentence is missing a period. Just so you know.
As far as prologues go, this one was pretty good, in my opinion. I'd like to see the original one, too. I personally don't think a prologue has to be terribly long. Sometimes I like them even more when they're confusing, because a lot of times it entices me to read more just to figure out what in the world the narrator was talking about. Your Prologue had a very strong voice, and I liked that, because I tend to enjoy character driven stories best. There were a few sentences that didn't flow together so well, but otherwise- good start. I'll keep reading.
| AuraBorealis 10/8/07 . chapter 8
Nice story. keep writing
| YoUr DaRk hEaRt 10/5/07 . chapter 8
i love this story! please please pleae write more! it's just too awsome!
| RynDevien 9/28/07 . chapter 8
Great chapter! Andy not remembering her is a good way to extend the story. I think the character development is going very smoothly. Good job! Ryn
| Josh G. aka Expo 9/28/07 . chapter 1
Hey, I only read the beginning of it because I'm short on time right now but plan to add my Favorite Stories so I can get back to it later, so far I liked it because it started like mine. A mystery person in someone's dream, I know mine takes a different route from yours but it was still cool. Anyway I'll review more later, in the meantime please read my story, "The Dream". And please R&R, thanks
| Shelly McCoy 9/21/07 . chapter 1
I love the idea.
However, maybe you could tone down using words such as "tresses"? For some reason, I hate it when people use words like "tresses" or "optics".
But good work.
| AuraBorealis 9/21/07 . chapter 7
This is really amazing. good work
| AuraBorealis 9/21/07 . chapter 6
wel, that is intresting. puts a good twist to it. keep writing
| AuraBorealis 9/21/07 . chapter 5
oh. that was a twist. nice work
| AuraBorealis 9/21/07 . chapter 4
poor girl. hope she gets better and i wonder what happened to the boy.
| AuraBorealis 9/21/07 . chapter 3
very sad. almost made me cry. nice work
| AuraBorealis 9/21/07 . chapter 2
wow. nice work, how old is Andy?