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| Captain Lucky 2008-01-28 ch 1, | abuseI liked your way of talking about guilt like an actual presence, and don't worry about being cliche. True is true. =) CL |
| smile for the sunshine 2007-11-13 ch 1, | abuseThat's the art of poetry: making it say what you want it to say. It doesn't have to be true. And it doesn't matter what people think. No one heres knows you. Ya know? That's what I love about it. And only a few people that I know really have an fp so I write either how I feel or weird ideas that I've gotten. That's the beauty of being a writer. Don't worry about coming out and saying that you've never done it. Show, don't tell. Emotions will come out so much clearer if you put yourself within the person that you are conveying's shoes and write from their perspectives. The more you emote and the deeper the poem is, the better it is. I think you could have made your last stanza a little less cliched and the poem a little more unique. Nonetheless, it's a good start. Keep writing. = ) |
| Vester 2007-08-23 ch 1, | abuseWOW. I suffer from anxiety and until now I had SEVERE guilt issues. To the point where I felt physical pain whenever I did ANYTHING wrong. It was so bad I swear. This caught my eye because of my experiences. |
| Catcher in the Rye 2007-08-21 ch 1, | abuseTHAT WAS SUPER GOOD! I'm adding it to my favourites! |
| A Sweet Escape 2007-08-19 ch 1, | abuseoh so true...*sigh* ~Katt~ i love u dahhling good jobb |
| Ramenluver 2007-08-19 ch 1, | abuseVery good. But for some reason, I liked the beginning better than the ending. The last two stanzas seemed a little lazy to me, that's all. *shrug* But poetry is freedom. Do with it what you want. -Ramen |
| Limegreen elephant 2007-08-14 ch 1, | abusehaha. Like you said the last line is very cliche, but i like the poem. Its good. :) |