Nice. You conveyed the character's feelings of dread and despair within a mere hundred or so words. Well done.

Aw, this is sad. It's like a final goodbye. I like how you used the proper names of everything - like Mount Vesuvius and River Styx, etc. It really gave this excerpt a mood, and made the reader feel as if it was really written by a local native.

So good job!

Oh, and if you have the spare time, would you mind reviewing my fic called Kmart? thanks!