I LOVE THIS!! Now, I have to read the other poem, but if it is anything like this, I am sure it is amazing. This poem not only speaks to those of us who have been rejected, but it really brings out the emotion, and the rhyming really works! Congrats on and AMAZING poem. Only two things. In the third to last stanza you talk about an 'it' which one would assume to be your heart, but it is a little ambiguous, especially because you haven't talked about the heart in a couple stanzas. In the next line the words 'life light' are a little unweildy. You could try 'glimmer' or 'sparkle,' but those two words are just a little off. I hope to see more of these really good poems in the future!
michelle