Reviews for desperate for acceptance

derisive snort
2007-08-15
ch 1,

My two cents:

I'd suggest usuing more examples. YOu talk about vague concpets. Examples of evenst that taught you the lessons learned.

Being a psychologist or teacher became my future back in the 9th grade. Good strong sentence. I like it.

I believe good and evil do not rely on each other but on the
contrary, one cannot exist with the other.

If one can't exist without the other, deosn't that mean they rely on eachother's exiatance?
What do good and evil have to do with helping people?

Lisa Martens
2007-08-15
ch 1,

I'd say you might want to think of one good example. Instead of saying that you have responded positively where others respond negatively, tell a little story proving so. Also, it's very serious. I had a pretty unimpressive GPA, but my essay was funny. Yet I got into every college I applied to. If you can make someone laugh, it's a lot better than trying to be sappy. It's very hard to make someone smile - rememeber, these people read essays all day, and you gotta stand out from the giant pile.

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