Wow. That was a powerful story. I really enjoyed it.

I really truly love this so much--and no small part of that is due to the poetic flow of the story and that there is conflict and angst but without it crushing my delicate little heart. :) LOVE!

I liked how the mythology was incorporated in the story :D

Now I'm curious as to what the original mythology is for this story

. . . That was . . . sweeter than I expected. But I cannot complain, because I'm smiling. Thank you for writing this, even if it does mess up a religion.

I hope you know that I was so scared that you were going to kill the Bori. So scared.

I may or may not have been screaming at Kamil when the Shaman came in...

(Though for about half a second I thought that the Shaman was going to be Kamils lover...which scares me now when I think about it...Shutting up now x.x )

The ending to this was adorible, ack. Like I am almost in tears adorible.

^.^

Samanya is a great name for him. That tied the story up so nicely that I had to go reread it see where the clues were.

:p

This was a lot of fun to read. I really look forward to what you are going to write in the future!

You have talent, it would be a shame to let it go to waste.

^.~

*loves*

Shiri Matakami
Lord of Fish

I am not familiar with any myths behind this piece, but still, it's emotional impact reached me. I swear I was enthralled by the first paragraph, even though I didn't think I would like this story.

When the shaman came, and when he started trying to manipulate Kamil, I must congratulate you on the word choice, and the order of events, etc. It set the mood very well, and I swear I was nearly in tears before Kamil kicked the shaman out.

I also particularly like the emphasis put on the meaning of names, which is not a unique concept, but just feels so very much more real in this story, because of its setting. And how the bori never appears in towns, and doesn't seem to be a manipulative spirit, all knowing, and powerful, and as is commonly seen in 'spirits' or 'gods' the veneer of arrogance. The bori truly seemed like a curious kitten following the piece of string. There -were- no promises of the all too easily corruptables. Which is actually very enjoyable. And in a way, for me, not having known what the bori are supposedly before reading this story was helpful in adding suspense later on.

And the very last thing I love, is that we never actually hear the bori's name (and I bet there is some signifigance in him accepting a name from Kamil).

And now, I shall stop babbling.

That is not a bad attempt at romance! It's very sweet, and I love the supernatural element. (As I know nothing about the myths it's based on, I can't really say if you're butchering anything or not. At the very least, you seem to have the right feel.)

Livi

“Stranger?” Samanya threw back his head and laughed. “I love it.”

And so do I ^_^ A lovely story, and cool mythology - I can't tell if you've butchered it, but you sure did something interesting with it. :D

Oh love, this story was really good. There were a few spelling mistakes (You spelled the word "concentration" in the first paragraph wrongly) and the grammar was a bit twitchy here and there, but that can be easily fixed with a beta. =)

Keep writing. As always, writing improves with practice. Look forward to reading more of your works soon.

Oh, I liked.

Loved this. There is not a lot of African slash around, and this was very, very, very, very god! Absolutely lovely!

Aww, I really enjoyed that.

Ohh... *__* That was LOVELY. Just lovely. *purr* I will now sit here with a happy little glow and beam for no particular reason for the rest of the day. ^_^

Hey, I found you on the "Just In" section. I'm relatively new to FictionPress, and I usually don't read this genre of stories. But I found yours interesting, so here goes!

Your imagery was very vivid, and the plot was good too. It was unique in the sense that you don't really get many tribally related stories out there (or maybe it is just me who's new to this stuff).

The stranger (Samanya?) captivated my interest from the beginning. (He reminded me of Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean, even if they are only a little alike.)

Overall, a good story, only it's not really my taste, which is of course no fault of yours. (It's a lot better than the usual stuff in the "Just In" section.)