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| Sayae 2007-11-13 ch 18, anon. | abuseBrilliant. All I can say |
| Sayae 2007-11-08 ch 16,  | abuseI just began to read and am impressed. You have a way of writing that gets me hooked. And it is an original concept and great round characters. |
| Cru 2007-11-04 ch 15, | abuseFigures, he ain't gonna kill anyone. Can't wait for the next chapter. :P |
| Cru 2007-11-02 ch 13, | abuseShit, thanks to that intro, I ahve a new theory: the unthinkable involves Paul killing everything by performing something- don't knwo what, yet all these religious voertones could make it Satan. Another is that these healings later kill the patient. ~MC |
| Cru 2007-10-24 ch 11, | abuseI think I may very well have just figured out the rest of the story. The ragehealing will be unexplainable, and it reveals Paul has some uber-religious connection. That could explain the "unthinkable". |
| Cru 2007-10-19 ch 9, | abuseStill wondering what the unthinkable is! Great story so far. I ahve no knowledge in cars, tho I know enough to realize joel must be getting paid a LOT. |
| Cru 2007-10-06 ch 5, | abuseYes, everythings coming together. Can't wait for the next chapter! |
| Luke Goom 2007-10-03 ch 3, | abuseWow, that's pretty good! |
| Disturbly 2007-10-03 ch 1, | abuseHello, then. Nice story, based on an interesting concept. I'll have to make time later to check out the rest. |
| KAL Steen 2007-08-17 ch 1, | abusegood first chapter, i hope you get into more detail about the whole story by the next few chapters. |
| AluminumMuse 2007-08-17 ch 1, | abuseAlright, though it lacks emotion. Even in the non-omniscient, you can use language that sets and mood, but as this is limited omniscient, you can really go to town- get us inside Paul's head, have him make judgments, let his descriptions of things and places develop his personality. Never add a sentence unless it moves the plot forward or develops character, this technique will strengthen your writing immeasurably. Feather La |