Nice story. Interesting plot. I liked it.

btw, panegyric is a noun.

awesome story, misused vocabulary.

I find myself strangely enjoying this story and its randomness. Only, I do wish to point out that it needs a grammatical proofreading. For example, at one point "the smiling parents adults were smiling" is there, or a bit about a nod being so impeccable no one noticed it (definition of impeccable being faultless, without error), or expressively forbade instead of expressly.

Anyway, keep on writing. :)

That was actually a pretty good ending to an ok story. So Kayla huh, figures why she was so pushy all the time, major bummer, being the best friend and all.

A lot of it so far seems quiet obvious, you mention something subtly in their attitude then say another character notices it, which is just a bit redundant. Parts of the story seem to be a bit all over the place too. Guys a great and all but there seem to be way too many love interests all at once, especially since Fayth's opinions on each aren't shared that much. From what I read though, good story!

wow, already lovin it. Very interesting and intriquiing. Can't wait to read more! Your characters each seem to be very unique and have depth. Well written with an interesting plot!

Ch 4 was much better, less mistakes much more action and cliffhangers, very nice.

What strange bombshell at the end of this chapter, emotional blackmail indeed. There's a love square, intrigue, murder plottings and a whole past of turmoil to explain, these are almost too many plot lines to keep up. Btw does Clarice Adeline by any chance? As in aren't they both the infamous Grandmother Day?

Ch 2 and possibly others need to be revised because there are frequent repetitions and grammar mistakes that are mildly confusing and detract from the enjoyment of the great story.

*The question was: who was she going to fantasize about tonight: the bodyguard, the sworn enemy, or a glazed donut?* fantastic line, for a first chapter this was superbly written, truly eye catching, hope the rest is just as good.

ah!

i loved it!

the twist at the end was so unexpected

i really like Fayth's character

this was a really well written story!

it would be so great to make it longer and go into more detail, just a thought

but really fab job!

xD

Poor Fayth. It would be scary to be injected with something. Her father's reaction was natural of a loving parent.

SirScott

Well, to be honet, I don't really know what to say about the last chapter. It felt like it was just thrown together so the story would be at an end. But it was still entertaining.

C.S.

Good chapter. It's sad that Fayth has so many health troubles.

SirScott

OMG I JUST WANT TO CRY... B/C ITS OVER! THEN I WANTTO JUMP UP AND DOWN B/CFAYTH IS FINE AND ADONIS AND HER OMG THAT SO AAWSOME.. great job on this chapter! I'll definitly beback to read it every so often. LOVE IT!

xKristie Marirex