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| AgamiMuffin 2008-09-01 ch 2,  | abuseA lot of it so far seems quiet obvious, you mention something subtly in their attitude then say another character notices it, which is just a bit redundant. Parts of the story seem to be a bit all over the place too. Guys a great and all but there seem to be way too many love interests all at once, especially since Fayth's opinions on each aren't shared that much. From what I read though, good story! |
| AgamiMuffin 2008-09-01 ch 1, | abusewow, already lovin it. Very interesting and intriquiing. Can't wait to read more! Your characters each seem to be very unique and have depth. Well written with an interesting plot! |
| Strangely Natural 2008-08-23 ch 4, | abuseCh 4 was much better, less mistakes much more action and cliffhangers, very nice. |
| Strangely Natural 2008-08-19 ch 3, | abuseWhat strange bombshell at the end of this chapter, emotional blackmail indeed. There's a love square, intrigue, murder plottings and a whole past of turmoil to explain, these are almost too many plot lines to keep up. Btw does Clarice = Adeline by any chance? As in aren't they both the infamous Grandmother Day? |
| Strangely Natural 2008-08-19 ch 2, | abuseCh 2 and possibly others need to be revised because there are frequent repetitions and grammar mistakes that are mildly confusing and detract from the enjoyment of the great story. |
| Strangely Natural 2008-08-18 ch 1, | abuse*The question was: who was she going to fantasize about tonight: the bodyguard, the sworn enemy, or a glazed donut?* fantastic line, for a first chapter this was superbly written, truly eye catching, hope the rest is just as good. |
| RoseLife 2008-07-13 ch 11, | abuseah! i loved it! the twist at the end was so unexpected i really like Fayth's character this was a really well written story! it would be so great to make it longer and go into more detail, just a thought ^^ but really fab job!! xD |
| SirScott 2008-06-23 ch 8, | abusePoor Fayth. It would be scary to be injected with something. Her father's reaction was natural of a loving parent. ~SirScott |
| criti-sized 2008-05-21 ch 11, | abuseWell, to be honet, I don't really know what to say about the last chapter. It felt like it was just thrown together so the story would be at an end. But it was still entertaining. C.S. |
| SirScott 2008-05-16 ch 7, | abuseGood chapter. It's sad that Fayth has so many health troubles. ~SirScott |
| XxXKristie marieXxX 2008-05-16 ch 11, | abuseOMG I JUST WANT TO CRY... B/C ITS OVER!! THEN I WANTTO JUMP UP AND DOWN B/CFAYTH IS FINE AND ADONIS AND HER OMG THAT SO AAWSOME.. great job on this chapter! I'll definitly beback to read it every so often. LOVE IT! xKristie Marirex |
| criti-sized 2008-05-10 ch 10, | abuseNow that finals are over, I have time to review. This chapter was nice, I felt it was a bit spacey, but I guess that's good considering the fact that it has to deal with Fayth and her attitude. C.S. |
| XxXKristie marieXxX 2008-03-31 ch 10, | abuseI had to reread the the 9th chapter b/c i was so confused! But now i'm unconfused, nice job on this chapter! XKristie MarieX |
| GN Perone 2008-03-29 ch 10, | abuseHaha! 'Then I hate my ancestors.' Great chappie (: WHEN will Fayth and Carter just shut up and kiss already?! Grr, they're acting like friends. That guy needs to get out of the deadly friend zone before it's too late (quote taken and edited from 'Just Friends'). lol. update when you can -GN Perone |
| sweets555 2008-03-29 ch 10, | abusecute! |