FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| blueroseofice 2007-08-31 ch 1,  | abuseI love the amount of creativity you use in your rhymes!! Also it flows together really well! |
| Miss Lovewell 2007-08-30 ch 1, | abuseThe rhyming of the poem detracts from its emotion. It seems you chose words just to rhyme them "True love I bet" is awkward, although it does rhyme. In the future, don't allow yourself to become to wrapped up in the rhyming scheme. Poems don't always have to rhyme. Be more descriptive. Also, your choice in phrases "treat me as a toy" "nothing will tear us apart" and "complete my heart" are too cliche. Your poem should flow freely, and your meter and rhythm are inconsistent. Consistency is very important. |