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| Hed in the Cloudz 2008-05-24 ch 1,  | abuseAnother sweet little twist! I like how you let the dialogue carry the reader through the story, without any thoughts or anything that would bring the reader to focus on the characters instead of the scenario. Quite effective! At the beginning, though, you seem to be telling more than showing. I want to know what the fear and joy look like, how the cold feels, or not hear about it at all! It's only relevant at the beginning, but it takes away from the first-line hook that most of your stories have. |
| heart'n'soul-of-ink 2008-03-07 ch 1, | abuseaw, aw, aw, that was so sweet! I just, aww! And it's not just the concept that was cute either. You did a really good job with the writing of it, the tone and wording is pretty much perfect. I love it. |
| servatis-a-pereculum 2007-10-04 ch 1, | abuse*dies from all the cuteness* |
| ihrtbks 2007-08-23 ch 1, | abuseIt's so cute when the guy's all innocent instead of an experienced bed-warmer. But the progression of this was SUPERB! Perfect example of KISS! And your scarce description actually made it work better, something few authors can accomplish. *CLAPS* |
| Manic Star 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abuseAw...:D |
| Lightning Storm 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abuseAw that was sweet |
| ang 2007-08-20 ch 1, anon. | abuseaw that was cute |
| Imalefty 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abusehaha, that was such a cute ending. this really is a nice fluff piece. because of all the dialogue, i imagined this as a really short play... or a scene in a play. ^_^ good job! -Lefty |
| xCursed.By.Thoughtx 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abuseaww, that was so cute. can't wait to read more |
| Always Pencil 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abuseAw!! That's all I have to say. |
| Lena Niccolas 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abusethat was sweet. |
| berry 2007-08-20 ch 1, anon. | abuseahh this is so cute, good job |
| RandoMaia 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abuseCute ^^ (heh, stupid men...) ...but it obviously woulda been better if it was femslash ^^ |
| EAZYADICT 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abuseshort but cute! |
| starlit x sky 2007-08-20 ch 1, | abuseAww so cute! I liked this! |