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| LOL 2008-06-18 ch 5, anon. | abuseI really want to know what happened to Fire because of this separation. Does the dragon begin to die also?? |
| ohthevoices 2007-10-17 ch 5,  | abuseI hope they figure out what happened to her, because I like Seth and it's not fun watching him walk around depressed like that. ;) |
| Kenna-Kat11 2007-10-16 ch 4, | abuseoh my gosh..i can't believe he is dead! thats definitely a twist...this chapter was particularly good...and the magic thing was very cool as well..all in all a great piece of work and can't wait to read more! ~E~ |
| ohthevoices 2007-10-09 ch 4, | abuseOoh, Bronson's dead now? That's an interesting development. I can't wait to see how this plays out. |
| Kenna-Kat11 2007-09-29 ch 3, | abuseseriously, i love this story...its so good...i can't belive that Bronson would think it is just a game...i can't wait to see what happens! ~E~ |
| ohthevoices 2007-09-27 ch 3, | abuseI dunno if I like the excerpt at the beginning of the chapter. It seems to give too much away. Other than that, I like how things are moving along. |
| Kenna-Kat11 2007-09-14 ch 2, | abusewow...this chapter was wow...it was awesome...seriously your best story so far. I love the fact Roxanne has an alter ego she can't control you have such a cool imagination. I hope Seth will be ok and Roxanne for that manner! Can't wait for an update! ~E~ PS. Why would i not read your story? :) |
| Pica Goldwing 2007-09-14 ch 2, anon. | abuseExcellent job on a very promising story. I feel as though, after only two chapters, I personally know all of your characters. Also, when Roxanne recognized the car, it could easily have been from smells or sounds. Good job. |
| ohthevoices 2007-09-13 ch 2, | abuseThe room she'd occupied as a child? Did she live with her grandfather, then? (Sorry if you've already mentioned that. I'm a little tired at the moment...) |
| noduhhhwhaaaaaaaaaaaat 2007-08-21 ch 1, anon. | abuseseriosly check out my nickname! ong u have let us hanf=ging!!i want to know wht happens!! |
| ohthevoices 2007-08-21 ch 1, | abuseIf it's dark, how would she know "instantly" that she was the back seat of her boyfriend's car? Lots of cars have leather interiors. I probably wouldn't have realized it until I saw him in the driver's seat. Try for more variety in how you begin sentences. There were several places where you began sentences with the same word, and it was a little boring. She tried to kill him? And it doesn't look like she remembers, either. I can't wait to see where this goes! |
| Kenna-Kat11 2007-08-21 ch 1, | abuseoh spooky...i can't wait to see what happens next great description by the way! ~E~ |
| An Inside Joke 2007-08-21 ch 1, | abuseIntriguing beginning. Be careful of over-describing, as it can feel overdramatic. In some cases, after you've already described something, you describe it again. I also feel that if Anne is tied up and laying in the back seat, she wouldn't be able to see Seth in the front as well. Other than those few thigns, though, this looks really promising. |