Yay! I like this chapter. Paints a better picture of Isabelle. I'm glad she finally figured out she was in trouble. I don't think it's good for a person to be in a bad situation and not even realize it! :) Well, no serious typos. At least, I don't remember any...that's all from me. Good chapter! I hope you figure out more Damien soon too.

It was a...short chapter...but I LOVED IT! Jared is so great! And the only typo I remembered was in your author's note at the top. Quite guys? *QuiET* Anyway, write more quickly. Chop chop. :D

Hmm...I think I like Simon. XP Anyway, I like this chapter because it makes the first two feel meaningful. However, there were a few things I didn't like. First: Typos. There were more than just this one, but this is the only one I remember on sight. "clicking his 'heals'"...yeah. And also, while I do like your written style, in this chapter it was beginning to feel just a bit too much like an IM message, if you get what I'm saying. Like it was a jumble of thoughts that you had to get out before you forgot, but not necessarily in its best format. For example: 'said object' 'trinkets and such'. It just felt too vague and uncomfortable. That was my biggest beef though. I love your story! Can't wait for the next chapter!

...*falls off of chair laughing* Wow. I think that was the kind of subtle humor that sort of just hits you all of the sudden. It was great. I can only imagine the sort of suffering Isabelle had to endure, only to fail...Well, I didn't notice any typos; that doesn't mean there weren't any, just that I didn't notice. :D The first paragraph was amusing in that it sets up the scene, but the whole numbering of thoughts annoyed me a little. It was a little like reading a how-to. But the rest was just great. Oh-! You mispelled handsome! That's all from me! Good story, and I can't wait to see more of Jared!

Like it? Are you kidding me? I LOVE it! That is one of the most hilarious premises for a story I have seen in a LONG time and I can't WAIT for you to finish up Pebble in the Water (well, I can't wait anyway) so that you can start up this one! :D In the paragraph where the guards start chasing Jared, you said 'something in Italian' twice in a rather short space, so that felt a tad redundant, but other than that, I love the way you write. It's great to see something in third-person from you. Jaa ne!