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| Holly Rose E 2007-08-22 ch 1,  | abusei really like the theme of this poem and the first four lines utterly seized me with their almost-elegant flippancy. there were times where i found it slightly repetitive: i.e. in the second stanza where you use the word 'look' consistently for three lines, it was a little deterring from the overall feel of the poem and it made it kind of drag. i smiled at the "your face" being a whole stanza of it's own; made it powerful and a bit of a punch in the gut. rather like a final blow to this adversary. "alice in wonderland shoes, / make me feel loved" is wonderful and wraps it all up nicely. a plead and a command all in one. delicious. |
| a silenced revolution 2007-08-22 ch 1, | abuseInteresting idea. Actually, it's all just very interesting. Good job, of course. |