 Holly Rose E 2007-08-22 . chapter 1i really like the theme of this poem and the first four lines utterly seized me with their almost-elegant flippancy.
there were times where i found it slightly repetitive:
i.e. in the second stanza where you use the word 'look' consistently for three lines, it was a little deterring from the overall feel of the poem and it made it kind of drag.
i smiled at the "your face" being a whole stanza of it's own; made it powerful and a bit of a punch in the gut. rather like a final blow to this adversary.
"alice in wonderland shoes, / make me feel loved" is wonderful and wraps it all up nicely. a plead and a command all in one. delicious. |