Reviews for All Roads Lead to Thule

Casey Drake
2007-09-09
ch 2,

abuseSweet!! Explosions ARE wonderful things!

:) CD

Solemn Coyote
2007-08-24
ch 1,

abusereview here.

1)"Not many people got to see their planet end before them." that's a stronger line if you replace 'planet' with 'world'. 'planet' is a little too specific to encompass the whole emotional range
2) this story seems to work a lot better when the reader already knows a bit about peregrine. It isn't exactly stand-alone backstory. For one, there isn't much description of the characters, or terms like 'warlock'
3)"and all the peons" dunno if I'd ever call a halfbreed a peon. Clarence might have come from an aristocratic background, but it doesn't feel like this story is too heavily attached to his perspective.
4)"Later, he’d learn they were called dreadlocks. Right now, the sixteen year-old noble couldn’t say." that's maybe the first bit of confirmation about clarence's background. It's well-written, but there seems like there should be more of it earlier.
5)"He was quickly startled by herbecause" wordmating
6)“Self-destruct?” taking aboard several thousand per ship, and self-destructing if there's a single contaminated person on board...that's not good odds for the peregrines to play. it would make a lot more sense to have placed the refugees in strict quarantine, though maybe it wouldn't have made the peregrines seem as heroic as they did.
7)“Because you saved our lives. I’m not going to let a few flighty nobles start a riot against the people that could have left us down there.” that's way calmer than anyone I imagine would've handled it.
8) as far as backstory goes, this is a good bit to have. But, it doesn't stand alone very well. You might want to mark that in your profile. I am, of course, glad that all these backstory bits are getting posted.

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