I like the ending.. its nice... the format in the piece is great.. I love how you spaced steady... great piece

i kinda noticed that you changed your format...
good work! i havent been on fpress for a while..

WANTED: Creative talent.

(weeks later)

FOUND: Mizu no Kokoro

:)

I LOVE this poem. it's so beautiful and true and just amazing. Keep up the great work!

It seems as though something is missing in your piece but other then that it is a great write. Do keep writing and thanks for the kind reviews.

I don't like the discombobulated feel of the poem .. as if it was a series of fragments just jotted down. Nothing is definite, and so the poem is missing that element that really secures in everything else. If you make clear (clear meaning present, but not necessarly blatantly obvious) connections your poem will be stronger and thus improved. A good author does indeed make the reader dig for the meaning and enlightenment, but here there is a scarcity of a place to begin, a foundation on which to stand and grow. Keep writing, k.

it at least sounds quite hopeful