I would have expected to find this as a published book. Sure there are grammatical errors and other small things that sometimes jar the reader out of the story, but this piece of writing has the presence and the ambiance of something more than worth reading. Plus, any small technical things can be easily fixed with just a bit of proofreading and editing.

The tone, foreshadowing, attention to detail and captivating plot are done artfully and that's what matters. I know this is a good read because I was caught up in the whirlpool of Paul's experiences in a way that challenged me as a reader, hinting at more than what meets the eye.

It's also crazy... so that gives it double bonus points.

I can't wait for more Vegas insanity!
-Nub

Wow. The plot seems really complicated and interesting. The mysterious quality of the story is really appealing as well. Love it. ;D

I Uber Like This Story! Update Soon Please!

It's not letting me sigh in so... grr. Anyhow.

I love this story. I nearly peed myself when I saw it updated.

Nearly.

But didn't.

I love this story. I want to eat it.

So I love this story.

It's like Oceans Eleven and 21 part together. I love it. It smells good and tastes like heaven and just a great piece of yum.

Just so you know.

Well, those are a lot of changes! And Bernard killed the parents ... well, after he died anyway. Kind of tying up loose ends, huh?

I am now addicted to this. Hope there'll be more.

I'm glad to see you're still working on this. =]
I love the relationship between Paul and Mitch.

Whoa! Colin's bi-polar behavior isn't a red flag for Paul? I'm sure Bernard's words will become prophetic.

this is really weird. i dunno. but i like it>?update plez.

Gawd, I wish I could have a sixty dollar burger, that sounds amazing and I don't even like burgers. Hey Colin, over here! Yoo hoo! (waves handkerchief coquettishly)

Leather jacket. Even Colin's got one! Hang in there, you'll have yours yet!

“I love your club.”

“Thank you!” Michael beamed, “I love it, too!” Michael makes me chuckle. Picturing him interacting with Colin is very entertaining ;B

Ah, love the note. Great way to end a great chapter! I really like getting to know more about Colin, and I'm very excited to see what's next. New stuff, you say? Bring it, says I.

I haven't the slightest clue if I'm making sense. I should stop reviewing your story so late like this. Maybe the cut off is 10pm. I hope I said I liked this chapter, for all it's fantastic Colinness, and if I've already said that, then I said it again.

G'night, and happy thanksgiving!

H.

Well that Tucker's an interesting fellow...I'm glad he comes back sometime. I want to know more about him.

Once again, I'll use this little review box to profess my feelings about Paul's thought process: "He was acting differently. Like—but again, my mind could not process the words." (actually, I'd put every Colin-Paul interaction here, but it would be a waste of other reviewers' space, and you've seen it before :B) Thank you, those laughs were much-needed.

This was a good one. I'm still very attached to Mitch, please don't ask me why, but I'm also getting a better sense of everyone else, which is very cool. I also like your chapter titles. I have such a hard time finding any, that I usually end up just numbering the buggers, as much as I'd like to name them. How do you conjure yours?

Hope you're enjoying the break!
H.

The story is going great so far. I might even like it more than the first draft :) Actually I think I do. Like Esquirella I went looking for this story one day and it was gone, and I always wondered if I had the correct title. Then it popped up again! Thank you so much for writing it.

Ah! We're almost at the point yhere you stopped before. Cool! Now I can see what happens!

If I was Paul, Eric would have been dead after that. But that's just me and my little old violent self!