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| aerial skies of twilight 2007-12-17 ch 1,  | abusei have no words for this except i love this poem & the lines "the last frames are drowned out by my screams and the sound of the chug-click-crash of all our failed trailer park dreams" were killer |
| Tytherpol 2007-10-13 ch 1, | abusethe third to last line makes me smile. :) |
| a lonely september 2007-09-07 ch 1, | abuseooh. i love the way you end this piece. 'you and i, falling, yes,/just like the leaves.' m. very nice. i love the words that are like sound effects && they just fit in so nicely with this poem. love the description with the taste of blood in your mouth. lovely. |
| rust phoenix 2007-09-07 ch 1, | abuseThis is beautiful. I read it when you first posted it but couldn't think of anything to say. I still can't, really. But I like this, a lot. Very creative lines, it seems so in-the-moment and real. |
| shola 2007-08-30 ch 1, | abuseThis has a lot of potential, but it's almost like something that leads into a novel or a play (*crosses fingers*) But at the same time, in the grown up writing world place that that literary magazine told me about, you're kinda supposed to leave more unsaid than said. This ticks that box. And as per usual the use of language and sound is spot on (in my own humble opinion of course) |
| Devil's Footprint 2007-08-26 ch 1, | abuseIt's good. I haven't seen the movie so I don't get it all that well, but I like it. It's worded simply, and it ends perfectly. Good job. |
| painting andromeda 2007-08-25 ch 1, | abuseThis is so well-written- the informal punctuation makes it come to life- breathing and living color. I relate to your ideas in this poem- blood like rust, and the need of strength. Thanks for this. |
| lucidspiritdreamer7 2007-08-25 ch 1, | abuseit sounds pretty good, all that I saw that could use improvement was the i's of course they should be capitalized.I'm sure you know this though ha ha. Good job |