For a OneShot this was really well done. It was just very polished sounding, ect. Your description is wonderful! It's hard to find such good quality sometimes, especially on this site, and this was refreshing. I hope to someday go to the UK *sigh* one can only dream sometimes. happy writing!

lovely story! wish it kept going, though. so sad she'll never see him again...

Hello!
Have found some time, finally, to come and see the sights, and also reply to your message!
OK, first thing's first, the bad news: these are just some small errors and points I had about this story in particular but also a general comment (I had a brief look at your other story, the one about the garden). Some of these things are about typos etc. so basically small things that only anal people like me care about, so you can ignore this or use it, whatever...
1. 'murdered' should be 'murderer'.
2. 'downed' should be 'dawned'
3. 'farthest speed' - farthest is the wrong word there, it refers only to physical space/distance
4. 'lagged behind him' - also wrong word.
5. 'simple sighting' - try to replace 'simple' with something else. Say 'mere', or something. It has the right connotations whereas 'simple' doesn't
6. 'The copper-Brit boy made an impression' - should probably use 'had made' here. It still makes sense but it would make more sense if you used the past perfect tense here.
7. Really watch your punctuation, especially where you put your commas. People always forget about commas but it really reflects the phrasing of what you're writing. Also, when you use hyphens, your don't need commas.

Generally, you just have to be a bit careful with the choice of words (a lot of people seem to have this problem though, so don't feel too bad!) and your punctuation.

This story is very, very well-written! Just a stylistic note here, and you don't have to pay this too much attention because it could just be me, but especially in the case of short stories, you should really do the whole, or try to work closer with, 'in medias res' idea - you know, starting off with action, or 'in the middle of things'. I say this just because your stories seems to start off very slowly, you know, there's a lot to read, it seems to take a while to get into. Now, this bothers me most mainly when you consider your audience. The reason that I read these type of stories is just for the no-brainer reason. You know, something to wind down with and relax. So, if you pile up so much stuff on someone right at the beginning instead of, sort of, EASE people into it...
Anyway, those are just my constructive (hopefully) notes. Ignore them, do what you like with them...you're pretty damn good anyway, so... :)

I can't believe you don't any music beyond the '90s? Man, we all know rock 'n roll attained perfection in 1973...and what about mod, punk, post-punk and new wave? What about the Buzzcocks, T-Rex, the Smiths, Joy Division, the Cure? I could go on...I won't :) Yeah, classical music is kinda hard to get into. You need very, very acute aural skills and a phenomenal attention span to do it anyway, but I wouldn't know anything about that because I was born and bred on classical so, didn't have to acquire the taste!
Your gay friend's quiet, eh? Well, isn't that funny because my only gay male friend (I've got a billion and one gay female friends, but just the one gay guy) is more camp than Carson Kressley! Needless to say, Cam is not based on him.
Ja! Das Haus ist schoen! I don't know. All I know is that you must be fairly refined to use German in the colloquial because if you get it wrong, you'll end up sounding like you're soliciting, if you know what I mean ;) And all of their curse words have some reference to pig. Gee, they love their Schwein over there!

Ah shit. I don't think I've heeded your 'who-can-babble' warning...oh well. Shall try to run up next update soon...still, please, please, please don't hold your breath.
Cheers!

I envy your memory, truly(read your new profile btw).
It'd really be great to have a good memory, then I too could write stuff like this.
And darn, does this "story" sound like fun! Of course, it's the part with the bloke that's the most ineresting(he sounds dead cute btw). I wonder if he really was able to understand what the three of you were saying, tsk tsk.

Anyway, despite all the ramble, you know I just wanted to tell you that's it a good, fun little story!

-Kanilla

cute and realistic! Good job!

Wonderful as usual! :D You've read my review. However! 3759 words!?! ;-; So unfair. You know I can't beat that! :P Talk to you soon!