Reviews for Chaos Zones: A Year To remember

Reviews For: Chaos Zones: A Year To remember

Eternity's Rain 2007-12-23 ch 1,	abuseIt could be an interesting story.But the way you tell it is sort of confusing and bland. You don't divide it into paragraphs properly either. And you shouldn't put parts of the storyline into your "Note" because its uninteresting that way. Don't kill me, because I'm just saying what I think. My story-writing is probably worse than yours.
N.E. Olson 2007-09-26 ch 1,	abuseI'm sorry it took me so long to write this review. Ok. I'm going to start with the bad things. There is a real problem with grammar and spelling. Often you use words that have multiple spellings incorrectly. For example "witch" (the kind that flies on a broomstick) is used instead of "WHICH" Unfortunately, spell check will not catch these errors; you just have to be a little more careful. Also, there are a lot of fragments. "From his early morning run and bow practice." This is not a complete sentence and needs to be fixed. A sentence needs a subject and a verb. However, fragments are ok when used stylistically. Later you use "Falling." as a single word fragment. It is ok here, but check the rest of them and make sure you write in full sentences. The final thing I would like to point out is changing tenses. The story should only be written in one tense unless there is a style change. In the beginning, everything is written in past tense until you say "From the sky, flames burst down and fill the clearing." This is written in present tense and is very random. So, watch spelling/grammar, fragments, and tenses. Good things: I like your story. Robert is an easy character to identify with; the reader feels as if he could be a friend in real life. The beginning is a good hook and draws the reader in effectively. I really like your protrayal of magic, and I am fascinated by the fact that the Orks cry "Dragoon" at the beginning, and Robert's grandpa's name is Dragoon. Hm... Anyway, the story is good. Keep it up! : )
Nathan Andrew Bedell 2007-09-06 ch 1,	abuseI notised that this book had no comments on it, and it seamed to be your best book. Considring you were kind enough to Review myne, here I go! Witch... I get this one messed up allot too, word is stupid, it should be: which. hole=whole? Besides those minor spelling errors (makes me feel better about myne, lol) It was the best book I have read on fanfiction so far. Great begining and very discriptive. I would like to see a little more about Robert's past and about his mother and father (I've only read the first chapter so far) Very nice plot that is devloping, and thanks for reviewing my book, are you done with it yet? Also how many chapters is this going to be? It's getting very intresting.

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