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| from beneath the bell jar 2007-08-27 ch 1,  | abuseBeautiful imagery in this piece esp in the first stanza. I liked the line, "Her once perfect face now cracked, her smile is broken." and also "Nor the tears that fall from her empty eyes". The last line was great as well. Wonderful piece. My only complaint is that I think you could have a stronger title, not that yours is actually bad but I'm not much help because I can't think of one either, so disregard that statement completely. You should check out my poem "Beautiful Suicide" - it's a little bit like this poem, you might like it. While I'm at it, you might like "Endless" as well. |
| Captain-Dalien 2007-08-27 ch 1, | abuseWow, good analogy. Very well told, with wonderful imagery. Just a note-- it's dying, not dieing. Kudos. ~CD |