FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| shy-and-smart 2008-09-07 ch 17,  | abusewow! awesome story, it's the kind that has made me laugh! (I'm reading this at 10 at night so I'm trying no to laugh, but I can't help it! This is very good. I love the style, it's so good right now,I can't think of anything bad right now! (P.S.: This isn't a review for that game thingy, some people have asked me if it was for some reason when I reviewed them) ~toodles~ shy-and-smart |
| Music Makes Me Happy 2008-08-17 ch 17, | abuseI love this story so far! Not only is it really original but its funny too! Update please! |
| Wolfkina 2008-06-12 ch 1, | abuse(crap!! i'm sorry, i didn't realize someone had already chewed you out for that! i feel kinda like a dweeb now. :X ) |
| Wolfkina 2008-06-12 ch 17, | abusei'm totally loving the sarcasm in this. and blythe is absolutely incorrigible (in the best way possible, of course)! the characterization is great; it's easy to imagine dita and blythe as real people. i'm really looking forward to the next chapter! there's just one thing that bothers me, and it's a minor stylistic thing. sometimes i have trouble determining who's saying what. for example, you have: "'I’d like it if we could treat each other with some respect.' I growled, smiling as he hopped about in pain, clutching at his throbbing foot." take that sentence out of context, and either of the characters could be talking. it makes it easier to tell if... "You put a comma after the quote when it's a 'he said/she said' sort of sentence," she suggested. (this is all together, and you use a comma because it's one sentence. so in that example i gave, it would be, "'I'd like it if we could treat each other with some respect,' I growled") and also if... "You stick with periods when describing someone's actions right after they talk." She shrugged. (these are two separate sentences, a sort of "this happened, then that happened" thing, so you use a period.) i hope that made some amount of sense. i've never been very good at succinct explanations, haha. anyway, like i said, just a minor stylistic error (i'm a little overly anal-retentive about stuff like that, sorry!). |
| Xonthespot 2008-05-05 ch 17, | abusestory definatly has some wit it's pretty cute so far =) u simply must right more! |
| Xonthespot 2008-05-01 ch 4, | abusepretty darn spiffy if i do say so my self, but for all that's happening she's really calm and compliant |
| Erique 2008-04-28 ch 17, anon. | abuseQuick question. Why does it take you so long to update, and when you do, its only a short chapter. Your story is so good that i want to keep reading, but when updates only come once a month, its hard. I hope you update relativly soon at least. |
| WriterGurl123 2008-04-24 ch 17, | abuseLove Bill and Ted and Blythe seems like a funny guy. Post More Soon! |
| Michaela King 2008-04-24 ch 17, | abuseYou are still hilarious. And Bill and Ted TOTALLY count as philosophy. So-crates says so. |
| Velvetrose 2008-04-21 ch 1, anon. | abuseDoctor who? Ooh! |
| tenderisthenight 2008-04-21 ch 1, anon. | abuseMore please! |
| Elle Winters 9 2008-04-14 ch 16, | abuseOH DOCTOR WHO! yeah! aw i lyk the casonova, so cute update soon! =) |
| deaselene 2008-04-11 ch 16, | abuseNormally, I get bored with the first few chapters of a first person point of view story but so far this story is extremely entertaining!! KEEP GOING!! I hope to hear more updates from you SOON! AS IN VERY SOON! :P - deaselene |
| i-cant-be-bothered-signing-... 2008-04-11 ch 16, anon. | abuseDAVID TENNANT! Gale x |
| InsaneRomantic15 2008-04-11 ch 15, | abuseOh my Aphrodite! For the mention of Fabio, I will love you forever! Well, as a reader. Anything beyond that would be creepy. xoxox Until next time! |