Reviews for Absently - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Absently - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Pipotchi 2008-06-17 ch 6,	abuseHello! Are you still alive? blink blink
the kitten 2008-03-31 ch 6,	abusegood one! please post the next one soon! by the way, in the first chapter you alternate a little between "I" and "she" kitty
cyanidecandy 2008-03-17 ch 6,	abusegreat stuff ! :) although i am utterly confused. but i still enjoy reading up to where i'm at so far. i'll read it again when i have the time hehe maybe i'll get it all. just a tad slow today. keep updating though !! i really love how ur so descriptive about everything too.
lilylupin7 2008-03-15 ch 6,	abuseI'm so glad you decided to update this story. I hope you continue this :)
Jacoblover 2008-03-14 ch 6,	abuseThis is really interesting story. i'm glad you're chapters are so long. although i noticed that Jerome's personality has kinda changed, but other than that i like it a lot. update soon please.
g 2008-03-14 ch 6, anon.	abusewelcome back, I was wondering where you had gone earlier this week. thanx for the update!
layne 2008-03-14 ch 6, anon.	abuseit's weird that you changed her name. really weird.
January Skies 2008-02-21 ch 5,	abuseThis is a very good story! The story line flows very nicely and I like Kira's personality. She isn't like most people make their characters, ones that fall in love right away and all that crap. The twists are interesting and I cannot wait for you to continue!
angelina 2008-01-05 ch 5, anon.	abuseI must say, at first I wasn't sure I was going to like your story, but it grew on me, and I turned out loving it. I really apreciate the "new" Jerome. It's not entirely out of charachter for him to be being nice. He has grown as a charachter scince we first "met" him.
Pipotchi 2007-12-26 ch 1,	abuseOk, I like splits and everything but you seriously have GOT to update this story. I'm going throu withdrawals!
Pipotchi 2007-12-13 ch 5,	abuseWow, I've just now read your story from start to current chapter. I have to say it's my new favorite! I love the depth and mystery of the characters. So please keep this going :)
I.F. 2007-12-09 ch 5, anon.	abuseThanks for updating! Jerome is definatly acting wierder/nicer but I won't ask since you said it was a major part of the plot. I wonder how Kira will react to a married life or will it be any different then what her life was like when she was on the boat?
lilylupin7 2007-12-09 ch 5,	abuseThis is really quite a good story. I hope you update soon
Selina Spencer 2007-12-09 ch 5,	abusei really like this story, in chapters 3 and 4 i thought the pot went a bit mad with the whole 'eton thing' i quite like your writing style but at times i feel it can be awkward, you tend to use 'i am' instead of 'i'm' is this on purpose? especially in the first chapter i feel it disrupts the flow a little. I also think that you need to build up the character of the captain more, he sems a bit of a weak charater and changes alot, i'm never sure what he's like, even if this is on purpose try and build up more how she ses him while they are abord the ship. Also, the charater of kira is good, she too is erratic but in a way that suggests she is simply odd. Finally, i dont like the name Kira either, it is a bit too common, maybe something a bit more ocean-y but i think it cant be a common name, it has to be unusual as kira herself is. selina spencer
desertrozea 2007-10-29 ch 4,	abuseAlright. You caught me. Yes, I've been reading your story, cringing appropriately at the naughty parts and all that other good stuff--I won't chastise, you just keep doing your thing--and now I think I'll finally leave a comment. Now, I know that Kira is accustomed to enduring pain and suffering, but for all the discomfort your portray her as having, her indifference to her situation is downright inhuman. I know you touch on where you're coming from with her emotions, but maybe if you put just one brief paragraph after the first time it happens...like some personal thoughts or maybe a promise to herself that she is disgusted and humiliated--or whatever else she might be feeling--but won't let anyone know how she is really affected. Just something that explains it a bit more directly and gives us more of an insight into Kira's personality. As for the subject of a new name...I love names. I have compiled lists of potential character names and have a fantastic book that breaks names down according to their fundamental sounds and pronunciations and explains their primitive meaning. Now, since you brought it up first, I have to agree with you. Kira doesn't fit. Now, I could give you hundreds of suggestions for a new name, but neither of us has time for that. If you tell me what sort of name you are looking for, though...what kind of traits accompany the name and what people's general impression will be of the character based entirely on the name, there I can help you. I haven't noticed a whole lot of mistakes in the story, but in the fourth chapter you seemed to have slacked off a bit and made some simple spelling mistakes. I love those kind of mistakes. It means that your ideas are coming so fast that you can't type fast enough to keep up and you just spit out the first spelling of the word that you can think of and just keep on trucking. ;) Just something to think about. Kira's thoughts about Elanu make sense enough, but Jerome's children are fairly significant. I think you should show a bit more of a reaction between Kira and the children. It's generally obvious who Kira is talking to without using 'sir' all the time. If she is frightened or trying to provoke him it fits, but otherwise it seems like the rest of her personality is sarcastic toward his authority, in which case always addressing him so formally is inconsistent. Not trying to sound nit-picking, but after awhile it gets distracting and starts to sound presumptous. I guess that's it for now. I would keep reading it if only for my love of pirates--especially when they're not trying to imitate the pansy Caribbean fellows--but now the story has taken an interesting turn, and I look forward to seeing where it is going. I am anticipating your next update.

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