FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Nemonus 2007-09-02 ch 1,  | abuseI like "As if time could not stop" and "the spells of realities". Some of this is confusing, though, because it's so abstractly pretty and vague. I can't picture what's going on after the second stanza; it just doesn't follow. It's nice..."Back in distress" has a ring to it, and is this about her having too many adventures, becoming tired of fantasies?...but confusing. The font effects in the bold part and the italicized "frozen" look extraneous to me. |
| Kusje 2007-08-30 ch 1, | abuseVery interesting, and yes, different from your normal type of work but I still did enjoy it. The blanket of utter emotion that captures the reader, is what you have done -- great job on this. P.S. My english is not going so well, haha. |