FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Nemonus 2007-09-02 ch 1,  | abuseI love the first sentence. That just really shows me that you're a writer, one with a unique style. Your prose is just plain continuously good. "I have done it, m’dear, he told her, choking a little on his sobs. I have at last figured out the secret…what makes one stay up in the air while they flap and flap." Nice. Such enthusiasm. The poem seems odd stuck in the middle of the prose, and maybe you can paraphrase it so that it's all prose. Obvivously I like this one. Be careful it's not too didactic, but I suggest you submit it to a magazine. |
| Iccle Fairy 2007-08-31 ch 1, | abuseYou're story is absolutely beautiful. I sat reading it and was transfixed by the descriptions and emotions in it. I really love the way you write. the idea behind this story is lovely too, and the characters are so real. Well done :) |