FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Arn 2008-01-12 ch 1,  | abuseWell, I think I'd give this a question mark on where it's going, seems somewhat interesting, but stunning descriptions! Actually, that's the good part about this, the imagery. "Garments made by sweat and spear" "Aroma of blood roasting in the sands" "indistinct as dragonfly's wings on a summer day" The feeling of euphoria at the end could somewhat be felt by the reader. Very nicely done. |
| Iccle Fairy 2007-09-02 ch 1, | abusethis is a very interesting and intriguing piece! again, you're descriptions are just lovely! create a wonderful image in your head when you read it! I hope you will write more with this. |
| Marie Ellen 2007-08-31 ch 1, | abuseYour writing is just so PRETTY. It's dreamlike and soft and fragrant like Delphina's flowers. I'm so impressed with the way Artemas, the elder, and Delphina are all made solid in just over 500 words of writing. With only a sentence or two you evoked something essential about each of them. This is lovely. Keep working on it! |
| Jeanie Gordon 2007-08-31 ch 1, | abuseYour description is stunning. Everything takes on so much detail and energy that you cant' even begin to imagine that they might have only existed in text. It's amazing. :D Definitely your strongest point. |