I win! My name's first on the little profile summary-thing. BAM!

Bread: Nice editor's note. I'm glad that I can't ever think about tongues ever again.

I definitely started reading this before... and I don't know what happened to that. Sorry if the beginning of this sucks.

Will Sachiksy: You rock, especially for a first-timer. I admire your point about sentience. Really, I admire the whole thing. High five!

Heatless Flame: The last (the one about gunfire) is the best, though all of them made me very happy. Huzzah for bored . com!!

Striped Feather: Hooray for tackling cliches and making me happy in the process! What are you doing Friday night? *wink*

Solemn Coyote: Is Latin dead if English, Spanish, and French are still being spoken? Poor Fluffles, though. Can I keep him if the chupacabra is vegetarian? Awesome story.

*shields eyes* I can see that I'm next... uh-oh.

Concerto49: Nice point. I especially liked the end comment for readers... maybe from now on, I'll talk quietly to myself as I read. ^^

The one, the only, the WyrdWolf: I wish ::I:: were a beast with four kids at home. Then it'd be ok if I killed them in their sleep... sadly, I'm only kidding a little. I liked your little synopsis of beasts. Yay!

Solemn Coyote: Huuzah for rants and huzzah for breaking cliches! If Striped Feather isn't free Friday, will you go out with me?

I'm back. It's like 'Revenge of the Mummy,' only I'm not dead. By the by, I'm not advertising my own work. Don't read it. It's just the thing I know best... it was easiest! Honest!

... guess I'm not doing the next issue. I forgot. Hell, I forgot to review this one and I'm in it! Twice!

Ew! Bread's a rotten biscuit! ^^

Great episode, guys! Can't wait for the next one... in two days. Better late than never, right?

Felicia.

Excellent job, guys! Welcome to the group, Concerto. Nice debut.

I read all of your articles and loved them. You did wonderfully.

And you can bet your buttons that I'll be submitting some twenty or thirty articles next time around, whatever that means. ;)

Sakka

This is so cool! I love this. I don't think anyone wpuld have thought of this. I think you guys could actually publish it and make it into a newspaper or something of the sort. Great job!

Nice issue =) beasts aren't really my thing, but it was interesting to read nevertheless. I especially liked the Drawing The Line rant.. I've ranted about the same topic myself on occasion.

I have an article I wrote for the Oceans issue that I didn't get around to editing & sending in before the issue came out, so I'll probably send that in for the open issue. =)

Another good issue. Here's my breakdown:

Burnt Bread: good introduction (especially with the power-driven word choice), and I liked the tongue examples. Quite a creative way to start an issue about beasts. It's amazing how often the mundane organs can seem much more facinating when you stop to examine them.

Will: Your essay was horrible. It lacked any focus whatsoever, used far too irrelevant examples, and failed to make any solid points. Get off the site, you jerk, before you make someone else's eyes bleed.

Heartless Flame: Great source. I love tongue-in-cheek cliche busting. The last one made me burst out laughing.

Sriped Feather: A nice little rant. I never understood why anyone would use the concept of the beserker even in real life, so point out the flaws of the job is a "Thank You" moment for me. I wish you had gone a little more in-depth about the perils of using a beserker in your story, and how to avoid them, but for what the article is, you did a fine job.

Solemn Coyote: No offense to the other articles, but this piece was the one that impressed me the most. The blend of narration, explanation, and subtle satire is dead on. I commend your efforts and look forward to something just as wonderful as Fantasmataxonomical Fun.

felicia13: You have me interested in the stories, but I'd like the reviews better if you told more about the general plots of the works. And don't apologize for your reviews. That automatically makes people look down on them. I do like that you were able to point out what aspects of the works are better than the other parts. Good job overall.

Concerto49: Your article does the best of give a concise summary of what beasts are about and the different forms and habits they take. The piece would have been a little stronger had you connected beasts to human culture and included something on interbeast and intrabeast relations, but you did a great job overall.

WyrdWolf: I like the informal nature of your article and the variety of examples you give, but in every case, you seem to only touch the edge of these different possiblities. What else do you think about bad beasts? What about contrasting beasts and human opinions of them? This piece left me with a number of questions. I like the style and tone, but I want to see just a /little/ bit more substance. Nice job, though. (By the way, I played Legend of Legaia. It's not the best game ever made, but it is definitely a great RPG. Did you ever find all the Secret Arts for the three characters?).

Solemn Coyote (again): I love how you ease the reader into the discussion with your story. You remain just as fluid when you introduce your facts and concepts, which I admire about this piece. While I agree with your closing paragraph, however, you don't quite support your final claim enough. Extend the paragraph before last just a bit, and you'd be fine. Another nice job.

felicia13 (again): This one is better organized than your review. I like the questions you introduce in the body paragraphs and the different examples you give (although the Lost one needs a little more explanation). It's so much easier to create things when the writer know what questions to ask himself about his creation, which is what you help the writer do here.

This was a really solid issue. For everyone who submitted a piece: keep doing what you're doing. For anyone else: please feel free to send in something. A rant, a review, whatever.

-SC