Two major things today. Let's see if I can say them without going off on a tangent.

First is medical supplies. One of the major problems medics, physicians, and doctors had during times like this was the limited supplies they had. If they ran out they couldn't treat people so they were more careful with it. Also, if a supply shipment is intercepted or doesn't get there then there will be a shortage the doctors wouldn't be able to overcome. Given the massive amount of bloody bodies coming through the hall on a regular basis they'll have to run out eventually.

Second is sanitation. There's a lot of blood running in that place and doctors are rushing from one person to another trying to keep them alive. They're not operating under the cleanest circumstances. If they're not careful they could easily spread a blood-born disease and make a lot of people sick when they shouldn't have been. What about plagues? If there's a lot of sick people piled in a room and one person gets sick everyone else is going to get ill as well. Lack of equipment and sickness killed a fair amount of armies, sometimes more than died in actual combat. There isn't a lot of sanitation in your hall, it's just not possible. How is that affecting the treatment of the wounded and how many of the wounded are dying because of it? How are the healers reacting to it and how are they trying to prevent it?

The Spathite. Interesting. A follower of another god could see it as blasphemy to heal a follower of the death god, or they could see it as currying favor and appeasing her. At the same time, what would Inoc think about his people servicing the followers of his enemy? It's one of those things where if there is divine intervention, I want to see it. Sorry, but I'm curious to see how your gods interact with their worshippers.

Shadowhound

So the Ilaki are to Spathi as the Valkries are to Odin. Only the Ilaki sing...Still, heralds and horsemen are never a good sign. Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Herald of Galactus, ect.

A lot of your story deals with the gods, so far. Are your deities going to make an appearance? Also, you mentioned earlier that miracles were relatively common. Would a god interfere with another god's doings? I'm thinking of the Greek gods who treated humanity like a giant game, how do your gods interact with the human world?

Spathi is the god of death, yes? Death, destruction, chaos. Or just death? Why is she considered evil? Granted, destruction and chaos are naturally considered evil and death may be considered the enemy of a physician, but how does an 'evil' deity play into the events going on here? Is she behind one of the attacking armies? I remember reading a book called Wielding a Red Sword, by Piers Anthony. It dealt with the god of war (without going into too much detail). War's duty was basically to regulate war and decide what was necessary to fight over and what was not. He was basically a judge to decide whether or not an issue was worth fighting over. What are Spathi's duties and how do other gods see her?

"The answer to life should never be death."

Odd words for a physician. Death is the ultimate answer, the final solution, to life. Is he denying that fact, or merely trying to ignore it to deal with the situation around him? Given the fact he is surrounded by so much death and pain he'd have to accept it as a natural part of life he has only slightly more control over than another person because of his occupation. I just find it odd his refusal to accept death in this way. He's an idealist.

If Derru was the one who told him idea, and the idea is held true by all of that particular faith, it probably has a lot of deserters who can't come to terms with what their faith tells them and all of the death they can't prevent. The terms of one's faith is usually determined by the necessities of life. Christianity for example, it says that death is not the end, that there is life after death. Hinduism preaches of reincarnation. Both say we should accept death as a natural part of life.

Him saying, "Don't ask a plague why it spreads..." that is the kind of question he should be asking. Finding out how a plague spreads is the first step to preventing it from doing so. He could save countless lives if he knew how tuberculosis spread, but if he doesn't ask he'll never know.

Tactics, strategy, and architecture might not be my forte...

Damn, lunch break's over. Have to finish reading later tonight.

Shadowhound

This has probably been my favorit chapter so far, although the last line feels off. I like what he is thinking, but the word muse specifically is what maid me think it was off. Does someone muse in the middle of a battle, even a battle against wounded and death itself? To muse requires more thought more clarity of mind then a simple thought would. Thoughts can come to you sporatically and without a lot of forthought, but musing isnt quite that simple, and I know the words mean basically the same thing. But the conitation with muse is different from thought and I think muse is the wrong word.

Question about Banntak's patron deity. You've made it pretty clear that she's the patron of doctors and healers, but is there another god that healers can look to for an alternate method? Look at the Greek gods of war, there was Ares and Athena. Thor had his corner covered, but he was a man's man unlike Ares. Who else might be considered a 'healing' god, and how does that faith differ from Banntak's? Also, you mentioned that miracles happened in Krith, how does one go about getting those miracles?

The dialogue seems a bit too formal for people who have worked together, or at least who are in a situation where time is usually of the essence. I don't know. In some of the ways you present the characters it doesn't seem like they are affected by the amount of blood they have to wade through when they clearly should be.

I like Inacha's comment about the sympathetic audience. Personally, I find it better to keep it all bottled up inside. It's much healthier that way.

So Banntak has a chance to redeem this Thorassian. Does he want to? Does he feel a compulsion to in order to atone for something (Doesn't have to be something HE did, could be all the damage he's seen and the failure to fix it).

Enjoyable chapter.

Shadowhound

Gannik says Ho way to much, even for a dilouge thing, Im guessing your subbing it in for like or something like that that people tend to say more than they should, but it is overly done here. Also where do people get dilouge quirks from? from where they were raised and how they grew up, so if Banntak and Gannik are brothers why do they not have similar dilouge quirks?

Nice twist at the end with the Thorassian being Inacha's daughter.. Lots of character development, but not enough to give a good review. Damn lunch break.

Shadowhound

now I am curious as to what is actually going on with this battle, I understand the charictors that we are meeting all serve a healing god but you also mentioned a king, is that who this war is being fought for? If it is does the word/command of a king outweight that of the god you serve? are they taking in soldiers from both sides of the conflict or only one? You need to clarify some of the things your saying.

If Banntak has a higher rank than Zilannirak is there not some punishment for Zilannirak for speaking to him in such a way? I like your description of Inacha but once again you give little description to the suroundings. You also mentioned a seige, are they being seiged or a they ones performing the seige? Because if they are the ones performing the seige couldnt they replenish there supplys and not really worry to much about using the good ones first?

This was a really good first chapter, I liked the way you dove right into the action, and your detail was really extrodinary. One thing that confused me though was the lack of description as to what name belonged to a god and what name belonged to a human. Also I want to know who is a god of what, like for example the first time you mention Inoc, you could say something Like I uttered a quick prayer to Inoc, the god of ... or we were fighting to keep them away from Spathi's grip, the goddess of death. Im not saying do that every time, but if you did it once it would be helpfull. Also, when Derru first appears and askes where she is needed Banntak's reply feels really really inappropriate to me. Is that really what he would be thinking about in the middle of trying to take care of all these wounded people? Finally, although your description of the gore is really good you dont seem to describe anything else, like what the people who are going to be important charictors look like, or even where they are. Which really bothered me.

What exactly does the battle temple look like? Does it look like a monastary, a church, a block shaped building with a red cross on it? Also, the names of the Khaman's avatar and Spathi's avatar aren't really relevent, though I do like Tadahl's name. Sekel's is just too long for me. Simplicity in naming deities is always good. He Remembers the Fallen, so he chronicles the dead so their names are remembered by future generations. Why not call him the Name Collector, or something dealing with him chronicaling the deceased. Still, the names themselves don't seem relevent at the time aside from passing amusement.

Question about the Twins. Are they ever referred to individually? Is one the patron of one thing that is unique to her while the other is a patron to something else unique? Random chance, though that isn't what you called it. Luck, fate, chance, or whatever. Still, can one worship a single twin but not the other? If not, why? Would it be considered heretical? What happens to a person who commits heresy?

"I'd ask why, but that's pointless."

This seems kind of irrelevent. Why does he bother speaking at all if he knows something is pointless? Not saying he shouldn't speak unless he has something to say, but Banntak doesn't seem like the person who speaks just hear himself talk.

As to Inacha's comment about the new Thorassian. What about her **? Sure, her breasts are lovely and soft. Apparently she's volumptuous, but what about her other, ah, fine qualities?

Does the shakto taris affect a Thorassian's sexual drive? It has to affect some hormones on some level, regardless of species. If they mate, there are hormones that can be affected.

Why knife fighting? It isn't exactly practical on the battlefield. Not when you're going up against a sword or spear. Hell, you throw one and you lose a weapon. For some reason being able to fight with a knife always makes a character look more fearsome when, in reality, they would be the first people to die. No wonder she's so bad off. Still, I'm starting to like this girl. Starting to remind me of one of my characters.

Shadowhound

It'll be interesting to see how the Thorassian will help progress the story. Not much plot so far aside from some petty squabbles inside the healing order. Still, I wouldn't be at all disappointed if these medics didn't go out and save the world. They don't have to, look at the old television show MASH. Emotionally surviving the war is half the battle. Or maybe a third, but definitely more than a quarter.

Anyways,

Shadowhound

Hm. Maybe it's me, maybe it's the story, but I found it difficult to connect with the characters. I lost interest at parts and had to reread paragraphs because I went on autopilot. I did read it, but it took me a while.

Also, what's up with the words? I'm familiar with your desire to create foreign and alien words, A Chill in the Air was evidence enough, but it seems odd and displaced here. In the Drakir story they've been isolated and detatched from the rest of the world of their own free will. Czerans and Cyldon are similar in the respect because of cultural and geographic obstacles. Do you have a common language that can be used? A diplomatic language, or something? Anyways, here there is obviously communication between the two sides fighting as well as the physicians and the military. Why all the religous/rank jargon? Personally I don't like making up specific words and inserting them. Better to have the whole language and translate it or not translate it as necessary. Whatever, I'm rambling, or at least lost track of what I wanted to say.

Shadowhound

The wine was used to clean wounds for stitching. How advanced are they medically? Granted, stitching isn't that advanced, but what kind of surgical operations would these medics perform?

Also, is there any kind of homebrewed alcohol around? Moonshine or something similar? I'm not up to date with the different kinds of cleansing alcohol.

Would Banntak get somewhat jaded by the constant stress of fixing wounds and such? It seems like he's been doing this a while. Normally people get emotionally detatched because of it all.

Inacha reminds me of Lulan somewhat.

What species are your characters?

Calling them 'painslayers' is kind of wierd, though it does get the message across. Ah, for some morphine.

When does this story take place in relation to your previous stories? And will Sharoyu make an appearance?

Shadowhound

The title reminds me of the Anne Rice novel Blood and Gold. Then again, Blood and Gold is about taking life while yours is about saving it, at least from this chapter. What would your character's stance be on euthanasia?

Shadowhound

Wow. I'd think you worked in the ER or something, that was so descriptive. As always, your use of "native" words threw me off at the beginning, and I was a little confused at who was yelling/calling/saying what at the very beginning.

It was very good :D

PS sorry I haven't reviewed all the previous stuff yet, I have been very busy. ^_^;