I really like these stories. They show so much human emotion so well. Keep it up!

I really really REALLYenjoyed reading this story. As always, I feel that there is room to continure, but I am not the autor, only the reviewer. As always it was great!

this was great. keep up the good work and writing. can't wait to read more of your work.

Sweet! So, I have some comments (don't I always). Please bear with me while I go into my tangent mode.

Spelling and Grammar:

She laid on her side, facing him, their breath mingling on the pillow.
--
She lay on her side, not laid.

She smiled, reaching her arm between them to brush the hair out of his eyes.
--
She was already smiling, it said so in paragraph 1.

She kissed his lips gently, then pulled backward out of his arms, stood naked looking at him for a moment, and then tucked him back under their covers.
--
A run on. Never use more than one 'then' in a sentence.

As she pulled her long robe on over her naked body, she stared at him again.
--
You said naked body already. A lot of repetition in a small space is never good. Put all of the physically waking up into one paragraph and focus more on the mood. We're getting sunny and happy, but they you muck it up with all the long glances. It seems a little over dramatic- unless she's leaving or something?

The place was quiet so she assumed everyone else was still sleeping.
--
I don't know what it is about the word 'so,' but it can ruin a good sentence. Just put in a period after 'quiet' and start the next sentence with 'assumed.'

Better yet, let the reader assume that everyone els is sleeping by adding in some clue that there are other's in the house, and then letting her be surprised when she enters the kitchen.

Owen was sitting at the table, his back to her as he looked over the newspaper, a cup of steaming coffee in his hands.
--
So, this is more a style issue, but we can also assume that the coffee is steaming. It's coffee. If a word isn't absolutely necessary, cut it out, especially adjective and adverbs.

...they paired off (Cody and Sasha; Julian and Evelyn; Owen and Dara).
--
Let this come out gradually. You don't need this here, so let this be revealed gradually as we meet those characters. A good writer doesn't need to come out and say everything. Show instead of tell. You'll hear that a million times, and it'll always be true.

Besides, you are not that bad of a lover.
--
It seems weird to keep saying 'lover' when it's pretty clear that it has little to do with love. Also, but getting rid of that word, you make the sentence seem more natural.

Style:

I basically said it all in grammar:

Show not tell.
Cut out anything unnecessary.
Develop your characters and settings gradually.

Practical:

If all the males are with all the females, then where are all of their parents? And wouldn't that be incest? And, the most important question: why do they need their pride to be strong? At least hint at that.

What you did well:

It read easily. Your writing is smooth, which is nice. You're working on a very original idea, which is nice to see on FictionPress.

Respectfully yours,
Feather La

PS: Sorry if this review makes no sense, I don’t have the time to proof read it. –Wince-

as usual your writing is flawless. A talent that is rare indeed even on ths site. I lvoed this chapter! Sasha's emotions were indeed heart felt. I couldn't keep myself from sypathizing with the poor soul. She has been through so much. *Sigh* your beautiful writing is what a poor pathetic writer like me aspires to. As always fantastic work, and I look forward to reading the up-coming chapter! ^_^

I just cmpleted reading this chapter! Man this is heating up. God stuff! update again soon. ^_^

Of course this story is good! A little tweaking here and there but one of the best I've seen on this site. Furthermore, it ignites a little envy in me that I am not as apt as you in fleshing out the story line. I am headed into chapter six and only now getting into the details of why Asha was chosen and so forth. But I love this story. I mean having such a diverse cast of charcters it's hard to ensure that they all keep their individual personalities, but you are doing a wonderful job of that. Also, I don't know if you know this or not but there are communities for writers where you can submit work and get feedback from published as well as up and coming writers like us. Well, this review has grown longer then I intended. LOL ...so I wont clog you email any longer, but again good job, and I can definitely see you being published in the future!

very very good. i am so sorry i hadn't reviewewd before, but my arm got worse and i wasn't allowed to type for a while, but i did read it and it was very good as well. i'm glad everything went good and i can't wait to see what happens next. the only thing i found was you spell 'bawling' wrong someweher near the beginning. update soon!

~E~
ps thanks for calling me loyal.. :)

Well, I just completed reading all four chapter of this story and all I can say is wonderful job! You have a way with words. I swear I could see every motion made by the characters in this story which says you have a way with detail. I also enjoyed how this story is sensuous without being explicit. Very original and throughly engrossing. I can't wait to read more!

ah...i can't stand the suspense! what's going to happen!?

~E~

I don't think it is too heavy on Sasha's past at all, I think it brings even more to the story and i felt so bad for Sasha. I wonder will her past become more important later on?...it seems that way...well i can't wait until the next chapter!

~E~

Its finally here!

well written as always...

i would write more, but i have to go

can't wait until you update!

~E~