Wow, this was brilliant. I love pieces like this, and you pulled it off wonderfully!

Very interesting intertwining of characters. The very first paragraph was a bit slow, but the second caught my attention. It was very good, in the end. I really liked how you twined everyone together by the end of the story. Nicely done.

~Maranwe Telrunya

Well put together!

I like how you separated everything out yet still kept the story flowing and followable. The characters are very realistic too. Nice job! ;3