...The last line just irritates me. "Un-consciousness" doesn't seem to be the right word there. It gives the poem an abrupt end, while it feels as though it should just slide smoothly to an end...like a whisper.

For some reason I picture the narrator as a girl with very dark brown hair spilling over her shoulder as she props herself up on a pillow. But here comes my insistent conscience: could you just tell me whether you mean your narrator to be a guy or a girl?! ...Huh, thinking on it, if it were a guy, he'd have very short dirty blonde hair. (Search me. I don't know why.) I've been visualizing the narrator as a girl because I've gathered that you are a girl (your name) but I wanna be sure...

I'm not sure I understand it fully.I'm just going to figure it was a person you, may have fallen in love with, who seemed like
they didn't love you back? oh well, still good. write me if you wish.