FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Twilight Starr 2007-10-05 ch 1,  | abuseBeautifully worded poem. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| SirScott 2007-09-10 ch 1, | abuseOne of the darkest toned poems that I have read in awhile. I really liked this line: And your prismatic kaleidoscope like eyes Very descriptive. ~SirScott |
| Masked Soul 2007-09-09 ch 1, | abuseit's awesome after not logging on for so long it's really refreshing to read something like this, i liked the first line "With a needle laced with black ribbons and arsenic" its nice and descriptive only thing i'd have to say is tht if u took out the first with it might have a little better flow |
| xrho 2007-09-09 ch 1, | abuseThis is beautiful. Horrible, but beautiful. The imagery is fantastic and your use of language is original and adds to the overall piece, as with "overandover", all one word, one moment, one thought and unavoidable. Beautiful. I would say, though, that the complete lack of punctuation doesn't really add anything to the poem, it just makes the flow stick in spots because the message has to be pieced together without its help. It's something to consider, anyway. |