I actually really like this so far. The only thing is, I don't quite like the different point of views. But I'm pretty sure you'll want to keep it this way. I just think the story would be a lot better if you kept it always in Eli's point of view.

I like the way you started it at the beginning, I just liked the style and the wording.

Well anyway, I hope you put up another chapter eventually because I'll definitely read it.

p.s. Is madder a word? lol you used it somewhere near the middle and I've never read that word before in a book so I don't know.

I like it. Not bad for a story considering you write so much poetry.