the feeling and emotion in this piece is almost overwhelming... i can relate to this on so many levels, and that's DEFINITELY a good thing! keep up the good work :)

This is great. I love it. Erotic passion put to poetic form. I love the way each sentence seems to be its only little breath since they're so short. Its wonderful.

Hmm...wonder what you were thinking when writing this poem.Very sweet though..hehehe.

It's nice to read a rhyming poem every now and then. Not many write them anymore, myself included. =P

I like how the poem is choppy - as if the writer is breathless with lust while writing. However, there is one error. On your very last line, you need an "e" on "breath."

Thank you for your review.

-Christine