FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Thenardier 2007-09-15 ch 1,  | abuseThe words that you choose to use here are fantastic and they juxtapose each other nicely. However there still seems to be too much ambiguity present in this haiku. It provides a sense of helplessness, but it makes me sort of confuse as to how to intepret this haiku. But good job nonetheless. Oh, first line, too many syllabus. I can't help noticing, but hey, who cares, it's still good! |
| Basara 2007-09-15 ch 1, | abusemindless of one's freedom... a hard trained person doing imitations... not of one's originality... nice... |
| xDancingintheRainx 2007-09-11 ch 1, | abuseLike many of your haikus, this one is also going on my favorites list. =) The imagery is beautiful. You've painted such a lovely picture with so few words. Excellent job! |
| sleeping Pisces 2007-09-11 ch 1, | abuseI have to say I'm impressed with the word choice in this haiku. The imagery was beautiful and 'purple sky' was a wonderful phrase. I'm not 100% sure on how to take this haiku, but I took the meaning to be someone fragile and unsure of herself. Great haiku. |
| Kusje 2007-09-11 ch 1, | abuseAt first, I wasn't sure how to take and understand this poem. It seemed to start out with a pattern of sorts, but then you totally turned it all around. That's a good technique for a writer to posses. 'perplexed ballet doll' reminds me of someone who is uncertain of what they are doing, or what they are forced to do? When describing as someone as a 'doll', we usually turn towards selfishness and/or someone being used, in a way. When you have put ballet in there along with it, it made me think. Maybe this person has had practice becoming a doll, and instead of being full of negativity, they have instead become neutral to it? Because ballet is an art, and for one to achieve it, there is much hard work and struggle. Or maybe they want to put a show? A 'font', in a way? I love how you bolded and italized 'constrained' -- it's a very interesting word, to me. And when you put 'flower' at the end, it made my thoughts swirl, haha. So I'm supposed to seeing it as something beautiful but caged? Some elegant, but held back? The imagery was wonderful. Great job, again :) |