Reviews for Phasma meum quiescete

you'll see
2007-09-12
ch 1,

abuseI like this. How does he know her, though? Why is she "his" spirit? I'm surprised that his fingers were nimble enough to light the first cigarrette after ten minutes in the cold. A couple English words that were odd. "for no one had threaded here..." "Threaded" almost makes sense, but do you mean "trod" as the past tense of "tread"? "Cigarrettes has a way of doing that," should be "have". I find it amusing, cigarettes calm you by basically suffocating you.
As for the Latin, I'm not sure on this since I'm in Latin 2 and still trying to remember the many rules, but yes, somnus is a noun, not a verb. The verb should be in the vocative case. (yeah, that means nothing to anyone outside my Latin class, it's what you say commands in) For plural, it would have "-te" at the end of the word, as sincerely disregard has, but for the singular I believe the ending doesn't have the "-te". Since it's a command, I don't think the person you issue the command to is in accusative case, the "-m" endings. Using one of the verbs sincerely disregard suggested, my guess is "Dormi, phantasma mea." I'm not completely certain in Latin, however. And with just my luck all my notes are in my locker.

sincerely disregard
2007-09-11
ch 1,

abuseThis is really touching, but your Latin is wrong. Now I haven't studied Latin for a while so I'm a little rusty.

For one thing, Somnus is a noun and it needs to be a verb which is a different word (several words actually). The following is some choices:
~dormite- sleep, rest; be/fall asleep; behave as if asleep; be idle, do nothing
~quiescete- rest, keep quiet/calm, be at peace/rest; be inactive/neutral; permit; sleep
~jacete- lie; lie down; lie ill/in ruins/prostrate/dead; sleep; be situated
~cubitate- recline, lie down, take rest, sleep; lie down often; lie/sleep (sexual)

as a note I took the liberty to put these all in the right case, as they need to be a command in the structure you have it in now.

As for Phasmatis it is in the wrong case as well. while it does mean spirit, I do want to give you some other choices. Again I put them all in the proper case so nothing needs to change:
~phasma- ghost, specter
~imaginem- likeness, image, appearance; statue; idea; echo; ghost, phantom
~umbram- shade; ghost; shadow
~effigiem- copy, image, likeness, portrait; effigy, statue; ghost
~phantasma- ghost; phantom; spirit

The meus needs to be the same case and gender as the word spirit so it would be respectivly:
~meum
~meam
~meam
~meam
~meum

And one last thing, the verb sleep goes at the end of the sentence.

If all this makes no sense just send me a PM or something, I'll be happy to clarify. Latin is a confusing and interesting language, so don't think I'm insulting you in anyway. Your story is very, very well written, I'm just a freak about random stuff like this. Hope this helps.

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