 Dextera 2007-09-11 . chapter 1This is a cute poem. :D However, there's a couple lines that just kinda...eh. Here:
"Can I say it?
Will you understand?
It hurts just a bit
When I’m silently stand."
The last line doesn't make sense, I'm sure it's a typo. But do keep in mind that not all poetry has to rhyme! Sometimes poetry is held back by rhyme, because you can't find the right words that sound like they rhyme. For instance, structure is a good way to grab attention and it can also establish a rhythm.
Don't fret too much though, this is still a cute little poem. :D |