Great poem man! Stop putting yourself down. Almost lyrical, it would make for a great song.

I think this poem would be even better if it's in a lyrical form- would sound great as a song. The last line flows nicely from the one before, but it's not grammatically right? Anyway, a nice poem.

heyy scott... u seem 2 have taken a new liking to poetry i see... well, just a type, you dont always need commas after every sentence. and also forget the word "that", confuses the reader.

luv ur fave sista

srz