FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| MidnyghtVampyrezz 2007-09-14 ch 1,  | abuseWow! That was really awesome! (as most of ur stories r!) I'm glad i got on the computer this morning so i could read it! The onaly thing i noticed, was the word choice on the very last sentence: Like, it might sound better if u didn't use the word "died", instead said something like "Andre was hit in the back of the head, and he fell back into the hole, dead." After writing that though, i actually think urs sounds better... Whatev. Was awesome! |