This has a good start, though does need some connectng material, I realize that you typically write music, but in fiction in order to have a good well written story you need consistant thoughts. Even if it may sound redundant to you as a writer.

If you want to avoid redundancy there is allways a thesaurus. Heck, a thesaurus can help in songwriting as well. Different versions of the same word can mean different things, based on context, but different words can mean the same thing with a better rhyme, or a deeper meaning.

I'm sorry if I sound pushy, but as one of my policies of reviews, I review the longest story in an author's arsenal unless asked for a different story.

Have fun writing!

RFYS (Read From Ya Soon)

Pterdoactyl

Very interesting. Nice work. Have a lovely day.

~Twilight Starr~

wow, this is very interesting stuff! I'm guessing it's present day...but if it's not, i suggest establishing the setting in a bit more detail. but the characters, although currently nameless, are interesting so far and i feel that you can really take them places ^^ idk, but they seem to have a depth about them, and that's really important for me as a reader, so good job! This story as lots of potential ^^ keep writing, i'd love for updates!!

It's effective, but very short - short to the point it probably shouldn't really stand by itself as a chapter.

Keep writing though! It's interesting.

I really like it! The mysterious tone throughout is very good. I'm anxious to see what happens. ^__^

Merry Meet.

First off, I love that title. It's mysterious and really draws attention, since the reader usually wants to know what the 'secrets' would be about.

Next, I want to say you have a good story going here so far. There's a lot of things that need fixing up to me, but heck, it's your story and I'm just one out of thousands of readers out there. I try and add a bit of humor into my critiquing to lighten the mood somewhat ;D

In any case, I hope you follow through with this piece. And my critiquing session will begin below.

-

1.) The sun was hidden by dark gray clouds that were showering us not only with droplets of rain, but as well with repeated thunder and lightning.

(( As a writer, you'll learn that a lot of people do not very much care for the word 'was'. In this case, you can take it out and make the sentence more ominous, if you wish.

* Dark, gray clouds blotted out the sun, showering us with rain as lightning arced across the sky, followed by the voice of thunder. * ))

2.) Now, to tell the truth, I'm not the biggest fan of storms.

(( * Now, to tell you the truth, I'm not the biggest fan of storms. * ))

3.) In fact, they flood me with bad memories from the past that I would appreciate to not be reminded of.

(( Bad memories from the past, you say? What other memories would there be though? You can't have memories of the future, so that bit is something that doesn't need to be there. And don't be afraid to shorten sentences, if the need comes to that.

* In fact, they flood me with bad memories that are better off forgotten. * ))

4.) That particular morning, I had just been walking back home from school when the storm had started.

(( * That particular morning, I started my walk back home from school when the storm began. * ))

5.) It had been raining on and off for the past few hours and the day had darkened even more after that, just as my mood had after I had been drenched wet in the matter of a few seconds.

(( Had, had, had, had, had. *falls over, twitching* XDD

* The rain kept coming and going for the past few hours, the day becoming darker--just like my mood did after becoming drenched in a matter of seconds. * ))

6.) Her almost white, blond hair wet and sticking to her clothes.

(( Hmm, should almost-white have a dash between the words? I think so...it would make more sense, so let's go with it. But wait, if her hair was almost white, how could it be blonde? ...I think I get what you're trying to say.

* Her almost white-blonde hair was wet and sticking to her clothing. * ))

7.) She kept her head low, slowly stepping forwards, nearing a small shop.

(( You already stated that her head was hung low, it does not need to be stated again. ))

8.) Go after her

(( You forgot the period on the end. Minor mistake.

* Go after her. * ))

9.) Only a few moments later, she had disappeared into the night.

(( I don't really think you need this sentence at all. It's just telling us what you said before. ))

Nice start, I'm interested in seeing how this goes.

Mysterious, good beginning.

This story definitely has potential.

'Go after her' should have some sort of puncutation.

The plot looks good.

I love the penname and the title.

Looking forward to seeing more.

Good luck with writing and this story.

~Twilight Starr~