FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Laura Schiller 2007-10-19 ch 1,  | abuseI admire the honesty and directness of this poem, and how it conveys your feelings in spite of the lack of flowery words. It does "kind of suck" sometimes to be in love, but not many people would write that. |
| changed.by.an.afterthought 2007-09-30 ch 1, | abuseif i could write a poem to express how i felt, it would be close to this one. it was stupendous, i really really like it. - changed p.s. but u can't have evrything... |
| ProcrastinationLUVSme 2007-09-27 ch 1, | abuseVery nice! It was pretty good. um, i was wondering if u would read my story! I need some more reviews, and i would like you to be one of em! |
| BornToThePurple 2007-09-14 ch 1, | abuseOne problem with angst poetry is making this angst interesting to the reader. Oftentimes, the reader is left with the feeling "So you're upset. Do I care?" Not only that, but angst poetry like this seldom breaks new ground. It becomes a fine line- how to make the poem universal enough that people can relate to it and at the same time make it unique? For this reason, angst poetry seldom succeeds. There is not enough originality here to catch a reader and the repetition makes it worse. I don't want to discourage you. It takes courage to put your work out there, and this was a good effort. I encourage you to continue writing, but there isn't much in this particular piece, I think. |
| Ramenluver 2007-09-14 ch 1, | abuseI like how the last line is repeated both in bold and in regular. ^_^It had a nice effect. -Ramen |
| Scorpius Malfoy 2007-09-14 ch 1, | abuseThe 'it kind of sucks' line made me laugh- it makes the whole thing seem so insincere and just generally 'ugh'. Also, try amping up your vocabulary. It's very bland. The topic is one that's been written over and over again, and it's not worth writing AGAIN if you don't have some sort of interesting take on it. |
| redinthesky 2007-09-14 ch 1, | abuseThis is kind of sad, but I totally get where you're coming from. It's an interesting style- the short sentences. Good work! |