Reviews for The Sins Of The Past

Reviews For: The Sins Of The Past - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

emmaliefje 2008-06-20 ch 2,	abuseHello! I think you must have reviewed about half my stuff, so I thought I'd finally return the favor! Sorry of taking so long! I really like the prologue, giving an idea of what happened and what will happen. I also like this chapter though! It's very cool. But I think you could stretch it out a lot longer. It seems like way too much happens. You could make the background info (feeling trapped by the marriage) 1 chappie, the running away, and the pursual and vampire another, because you really write well. I'd like to see more pretty descriptions (I liked the line "The only response I could manage was an un-ladylike grunt at her retreating back." I dont know why; the sentence structure and word choice made me smile.), and stretching the story out could do that. Anyway, well done, and thanks for the endless reviewing :D
acapella33 2008-05-16 ch 2,	abuseI love Twilight. I love vampire stories in general, really, so I'm sure I'll like this one. Your writing is good. Really good. You have a good sense of word choice, and I like Annabel's voice. I would suggest breaking up the paragraph that starts with "I turned to him and smiled..." when you start the description of the vampire. You also need a period after "The pain was shocking." Other than that, no mistakes. Great story, and I'm anxious to red more. (That's the nice way of saying UPDATE NOW) P.S. Thanks for reviewing my story =)
CK Shorty 2007-10-29 ch 2,	abuseA few mistakes here and there, but nothing too bad to pull my attention away from this story. I like it , and I hope you update sometime soon.
CK Shorty 2007-10-29 ch 1,	abuseProbably the shortest first chapter I've ever read, haha, but it was good. Makes me want to read more.
Th3 UnKnowN 2007-10-22 ch 2,	abusewow. exciting. she says, un- yes- i said un-sarcastically. its really good. keep writing. p.s. can you R&R my story 'life or something unlike it'?
Th3 UnKnowN 2007-10-22 ch 1,	abuseshort. but you no wat they say, 'big things come in small packages'. or in other words, keep writing, its good.
MzKit10 2007-10-17 ch 2,	abuseWow, this is really well written. It's fast paced but in a good way, it's not confusing or anything. It's a great piece, please update soon. The character is well done, she's human and very easy to relate to because of your language and her presentation. It's a great work that i would LOVE to see finished! Kat.
daisy dreams. 2007-10-09 ch 2,	abuseI like it, really, really like so far. Update soon please?
queen of psuedo 2007-10-01 ch 1,	abusei'm loving it. i can't believe chapter one was so short though. i hope you update soon! (:
Ollie B 2007-09-29 ch 1,	abuseI want to read more! This is good, yes indeed, and I am apalled that you ended it with so short of sentences.
Healing Waters 2007-09-25 ch 2,	abuseThat was GREAT! I love your word choice and I am very excited to see what happens next! WOW! That was awesome! Keep it up! :D ~+Healing Waters+~
Twilight Starr 2007-09-25 ch 2,	abuseGreat chapter. Have a wonderful day. ~Twilight Starr~
emotionless-stares 2007-09-25 ch 2,	abuseo0o I hope you continue this story because it seems really good. I'm guessing that she turned into a vampire. Anyway, I hope you update soon.
emotionless-stares 2007-09-25 ch 1,	abuseo0o very suspenseful
Mileana 2007-09-25 ch 2,	abuseYay, an update. The descriptions are great, I like your writing style though there were a few 'full stops' missing in some of the paragraphs...em, yeah! I really like this, you've already got me hooked, anyway update! I can't wait to know what happens. Mileana x

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