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| Authoress-Boleyn 2007-12-14 ch 15,  | abuseloving it. |
| Twilight Starr 2007-10-11 ch 15, | abuseI don't know a lot about grammar and all this, but I do know this: "there Imagining the night before had been some weird wonderful dream, and she would wake up alone in her own bed." I think imagining should be low case. "It was only because the light of day had filtered through the blinds had made Carla subconsciously wake up, she was used to getting up as soon as it was light like she had some internal alarm clock that went of inside her head" It is a sentence therefore it should have puncutation. You do that a lot with several of your sentences. "“Morning” he murmured" Morning should have some sort of puncutation in the dialogue whether it is a period or comma. "Marks hands" Mark's needs an apostrophe because it is possessive. Good story though. You have a good plot. Looking forward to more. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-10-10 ch 14, | abuseCute chapter. Aww, they finally got together! Have a wonderful day. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-10-05 ch 13, | abuseGreat chapter. Good job! Have a wonderful day. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-10-03 ch 12, | abuseThat's horrible. Terrific chapter. Have a lovely day. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-10-02 ch 11, | abuseGreat chapter. Have a wonderful day. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-10-01 ch 10, | abuseGreat chapter. I want to see what happens next. Please update soon! Have an awesome day. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-09-30 ch 9, | abuseThings just got a whole lot more interesting. ;) Looking forward to more. Awesome chapter. Have a wonderful day. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-09-26 ch 8, | abuseThat explains a lot. Good chapter. Looking forward to more. Have a wonderful day. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-09-25 ch 7, | abuseMark is an intriguing character. Good chapter. Looking forward to more. Have a wonderful day. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-09-23 ch 6, | abuseGood chapter. Looking forward to more. Have a wonderful day. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2007-09-18 ch 5, | abuseGood chapter. I find it cute that he likes her (or so I assume) and that she doesn't believe. ;) Looking forward to more. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| abeatingheartohold 2007-09-17 ch 4, | abuseThis chapter is good... I'm glad we got to learn a little bit more about Mark. You might want to write longer chapters, the story wouldn't be so choppy. Thumbs up. |
| Twilight Starr 2007-09-17 ch 4, | abuseGood chapter. "Miss modest" should be "Miss Modest". Looking forward to more. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| abeatingheartohold 2007-09-16 ch 3, | abuseI really like your story, it's different, not completely cliche like a lot of the romance stories on FictionPress. Your writing voice is very good. I hope you continue with this story, I'm very intrested. Good Job! |