This story was amazing! I almost cried when Nakael was being treated, and before that! It was really emotional, especially when you killed my favorite character and Nakael left him outside the city walls, only taking in his friend. But it was still a really good part.

aw. awesome story. Yay. D

I really like it!

oh yey more flyer stories! !amazing end, so glad he survived, was on the edge of my seat for a while! thanks so much for putting this story up, really enjoyed reading it! fran *

wow, absolutely fantastic chapter! love it! so action filled and so well written! fab :D

A dark figure glided above the battle scene on big black wings

-On black wings sounds like he's on them, you know? physically on top of them. Mayb something like "A dark firgure with big black wings glided above the battle scene." You can wait till later or the next sentence to state that they're not real.

blades were unbreakable - nothing would break them

-I'm sure that most people wil know what unbreakable means, don't be repetitive, it messes up the flow.

and he rapidly climbed in the sky

-Dosent sound right, maybe "he rapidly climbed HIGHER INTO the sky."

As a Black Talon, he was usually address as Talon, but his real name was Nakael

-Nothing particularly wrong, just if you didn't give info about his name, you could have kept him a mystery, if that's what you had intended.

every one laughed and teased him, or just pretended he wasn’t there. It was because he had no parents.

-I thought noone in an orphanage had parents?

oh dear i don't like the sound of that giggle at the end... i think i have an idea what they're thinking, but I don't like it! fantastic chapter. the characters are becoming really developed and i love you're writing style! keep it up, can't wait for more! fran *

that sounds like a good move! it's getting very exciting! they kicked those plumes asses! but i have a feeling it will get harder ;)

fantastic chapter. the descriptions when he was flying through the city were great! getting very tense now. can't wait to read more! and i may be the only one reviewing it so i am very thankful for you putting it up just for me :D thanks! fran *

ooh great chapter! he's really thrown himself in at the deep end hasn't he! can't wait to read the next chapter which i bet is exciting as things are moving very quickly! fran *

fantastic chapter! great to see his emotions as he adapts to his new role. really like the idea of him being a flyer aswell. it's gonna be an exciting ride i can tell :D fran *

great first chapter. really interesting. great to set the scene and introduce the characters! can't wait to find more out about them! and thankyou for posting it specially for me! just been writing the 'finding out he's a king' part of my story! let me know what you think! fran *